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Depressants Jokes

Depressing pickup lines.

Are you suicide?
Because I think about you every day.

Are you a toaster?
Because I really want to take a bath with you.

Are you a noose?
Because I really want to hang with you.

Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me.

Are you anti-...

My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants...

Guess I won't be needing those anymore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Jerk stole my Anti-Depressants earlier today.

I hope he's happy.

Somebody stole my anti depressants..

Whoever you are.. I hope you’re fking happy!

A distraut wife asks her dying husband why he OD'd on his anti-depressants.

He simply said "Because either way, I'd end up happy."

The Russians are developing new anti-depressants

They call them USSRI’S

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took Imodium and anti-depressants yesterday.

I couldn't give a shit, and I'm happy about it.

Since I’m going away to college, my Dad sat me down to have a talk.

He said “OK, Dan, you're going off to college. You're going to be living away from home, in a dorm, surrounded by beautiful girls. So I got you something from the drug store.”

I said “It’s ok, Dad- I already know about condoms.”

He's said “No - anti-depressants.”

When commercials are selling anti-depressants and say that a side effect could be death,

Are depressed people like "it's a win if I die and a win if I dont?"

Who says anti-depressants don't work,

that mass murderer looked pretty happy.

I knew a girl who always confused her birth control and anti-depressants

She had the sweetest little baby.

The other day a group of guys robbed all the anti-depressants from the pharmacy up the street from me and now my whole neighbourhood is terrified

Hope they're happy

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