UPJOKE
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My boss said we need to remove the dead weight from our work.

Which is going to be tough, considering our job is in a morgue.

What’s the fastest way to lose 130 lbs of dead weight?

Divorce

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funeral director takes his hearse to the mechanic, "My car gets really bad mileage."

Mechanic says, "I'm sorry sir I don't think I can help, It's because of all the dead weight in the back."

Do you think we should bring your Grand father's ashes to the party?

Sister: No, we probably dont need to

Me: No, I dont think its necessary

Uncle: No, I think it's dead weight

My father owned a body removal business

He lifted a lot of dead weight

A Frenchman, a Cuban, and a Texan are seated together on a plane...

The pilot announces an engine failure in their small commuter craft. Shortly after, the second engine fails. The pilot, in an attempt to drop dead weight instructs all luggage and passenger items to be thrown overboard.


It isn't enough, they're not gonna be able to glide to safety. Th...

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