Why did Davey Jones get into comedy?

Because he was good at kraken jokes

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A strip club joke

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a w...

Did you know Davey Crockett had three ears....

His left ear, his right ear and his wild frontier

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Little Johnny was in class one friday.....

The teacher said we'll play a game, whoever answers my questions correctly can leave early for the weekend. The first question was, who started a speech with "four score and seven years ago "? Several kids raised their hand and little Johnny was waving his hand frantically in the back of the class....

How does Davey Crockett take his pie?

Alamo'ed

What's the difference between Davey Crockett and Jack Daniels?

Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

The Prince of Wales and the Duke of Edinburgh

The recent death of the Duke of Edinburgh reminded me of the time that Prince Charles went to open a school in Brixton in London. The Prince's speech went well, but people were distracted by his headwear, which was a Davey Crockett-type hat made from fox fur, with the fox's tail hanging down at the ...

One Sunday morning

the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
"Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this?
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women w...

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One day, an excited young boy is visiting the docks when he meets an ACTUAL pirate!

This pirate is the real deal: parrot on the shoulder, peg leg, eyepatch, hook hand, sword on the hip. You could not imagine a more stereotypical looking pirate.

The boy runs up to him, squealing with delight. “Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! You’re a real pirate!”

“Aye, laddie,” the ...

The Pope is teaching a Sunday school class

"Children" begins the Pope. "Where's Jesus today?"

Little Tommy says: "He's in my heart."

Little Barry says: "He's in Heaven."

Little Davey says: "He's in our bathroom."

The surprised Pope asks Little Davey how he knows this.

"Well," says Little Davey, "every day m...

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Toast of the Night

Dave O'Reilly was in the pub one night. When time came to give toasts, he hoisted his whiskey and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won th...

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[NSFW-ish] Three ducks walk into a pub...

...they go up to the bar. It isn't every day that ducks visit the pub so the barman says to the first duck, 'What's your name?'
'Davey,' says the duck.
'How's your day been?' asked the barman.
'Excellent! Been in and out of puddles all day.'
'oh that's nice.' says the bar...

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Captain Loony Doubloon

At the last port-of-call before a long voyage, lonely Captain Loony Doubloon decides it's time he needs another parrot. He heads to the port's birdkeep, and finds the perfect talkative parrot perched on its swing within. The keeper discloses, however, that the bird was born with no legs, among anoth...

Something Exciting

The third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Davey, knowing that he sometimes c...

This one's mainly for Mexicans and Texans.

What did Daniel Boone say to Davey Crocket when thousands of Mexicans charged at them at the Alamo?



"Davey.... are we pouring concrete today??"

Desert necessities

“What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?” the Scout master asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.
“Yes, Davey, what a...

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Not sure if this has been posted before, but my favorite

Dirty Johnny's sitting in his kindergarten class, learning about the alphabet. The teacher is having the students review. She asks the class, "What's something that starts with the letter A?"

Immediately several hands go up, including Dirty Johnny's. The teacher thinks, oh no, I can't call on...

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