UPJOKE
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Oligarch Jokes

Why did the Russian oligarch sign up for the draft?

Because going to the front line was safer than trying to open his hotel room window.

Why do russian oligarchs only buy MacBooks?

Because they fear windows

A joke I rewrote to make it timely... What do you get if you cross a Russian dictator and a Russian oligarch?

Killed. You get killed.

What does a Russian FSB agent say when he found a Oligarch shot 13 times?

Worst case of suicide I've ever seen

Why don't Americans call inordinately powerful and corrupt people oligarchs?

Habits are hard to break, and we've always called them congresspeople.

What game have russian oligarchs stop playing

Yacht see

I bought a Russian advent calendar.

Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.

(A joke I wrote myself) A Russian man walks through the streets of Moscow.

As he passes by the headquarters of a major company, he notices a poor man in decrepit clothes standing by the building, seemingly waiting for something, looking at the sky. "Another poor crazy weirdo", he thinks. He keeps on walking.

The next day, he passes near another company's HQ, and see...

A Ukrainian sailor was drilling holes in a Russian oligarch's yacht...

A police officer approaches the sailor and asks him what he is doing.

The sailor puts down the drill and says, "Oh, me? Uhhhm... as a matter of fact, I am here to bless the ship."

The police officer looks skeptical, "You're here to bless the ship?"

"Yes, that's right! I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Slovak oligarch, Japanese nationalist, communist and a pirate meet in a parliament...

This isn't a joke. It's Czech Republic.

A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss and two Russian oligarchs walk into a bar. The bartender says...

"You guys must be here to talk about adoption."

Did you hear the joke about the Russian Oligarchs?

Neither did anybody else, because the Secret Service was kept away due to "privacy concerns"

An oligarch, a theocrat, and two architects of the prison industrial complex walk into a bar...

Sorry, I misplaced my notes. Those are just the choices for the US Presidential election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New bordello opened

New bordello opened. They will make every sexual wish come true, but if client can't pay, they will ask a butcher from neighboring meat shop to cut part of your body.

So, one day came russian oligarch. He fucked everyone in the bordello. Female prostitutes, male prostitutes, barman, barmaid a...

What are you called when you're rich and in a hurry to rig the U.S. election?

A Russian Oligarch.

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