All it takes is a mixup in the UN...

and unclear quickly becomes nuclear.

Horrible mixup

A man received the following text from his neighbor:


I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse. I can no lon...

A man takes his wife to get tested

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.

The doctor tells him, “Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer’

The man, clearly frustrated, asks, “Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?”
...

LPT: If you know somebody with dyslexia that uses public transport, offer to help them read their timetable to prevent any mixups.

Whoops, wrong bus.

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The mixup

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Nigerian are in a maternity ward waiting room

A nurse comes in and says, "Gentlemen, I'm sorry, but there's been a mixup with the babies. Could you please help sort it out?"

She takes them to the nursery and shows two white babies and one black baby. The Englishman picks up the black baby and starts walking off. The Nigerian says, "What ...

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A politician passes away and arrives at the Pearly Gates........

St. Peter greets him. “Nice to meet you! You should know we give you the choice of whether you want to spend eternity in heaven or in hell.” “How do I know which one to pick?” the politician replies. “We let you spend a day in each, and then you may decide.” The politician agrees and is sent to the ...

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A man gets a call from his wife's doctor.

The doctor says "Sir, we have your wife's test results back but there seems to have been a mixup with someone else's results. We are not sure if she has AIDS or Alzheimers."

"Well, what should I do?" Says the man.

"Drive her and drop her off somewhere outside of town. If she finds her...

An engineer dies and goes to hell

Lucifer : I don't get it, you weren't supposed to be here, maybe there's some mixup, hold on...."*calls God*"

God : Yo Lucy, wassup?

Lucifer : Was Mr. Rowan supposed to be here, I don't find him on the list.

God : Oh yeah, he was supposed to be here in heaven. Looks like Reaper ...

I went to buy some coffee today

I went to buy some coffee today and when I got to the coffee aisle at the store there was a sign stating that all the Folgers coffee had been recalled. The sign said the following:

“Out of concern for our customers we have vouantailly issued a recall on all Folgers coffee. During the packa...

Angela Merkel dies and is sent to Hell.

As she's standing, crying, in front of the gates of hell with her belongings, the Devil walks up to her. He looks at her, then checks his list:

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry," says the Devil, "but apparently, there's been a mixup. You're supposed to be in Heaven." Merkel's face lights up and she im...

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Two Pickets

Two drunk Steelers fans were left in Cleveland after a game with no ride home. The first drunk decides that they can just hop a Greyhound bus and be home in no time. He stumbles to the ticket counter and the most beautiful, busty woman he's seen all day was working. He politely asks "can I please ha...

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Good news, bad news and worse news

A guy and his new wife submitted samples for testing before trying to have children. Once the results are in, the husband goes into the medical centre to receive the findings.

"I've got good news, bad news and worse news for you, sir," says the lab tech who greets him. "The good news is you'r...

The Irish are quick to help their fellow man

On a long outbound evening flight on Aer Lingus, the lead flight attendant came on the intercom and made the following announcement in her beautiful Irish brogue:

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very sorry to inform you that there has been a terrible mixup by our catering service. There were to b...

Jane Smith

John Smith's wife, Jane, was very ill, so John brought her to the hospital, where he left her overnight. He returned the next day to pick her up, and the Doctor approached him. "Good morning, Doctor. How is Jane?" The Doctor responded, "Sir, we had a little mixup last night. There were two women tha...

Pope Francis gets a new car.

He's in Chicago for an appearance. His regular car is obviously not there and due to some mixup all they have is a huge SUV.

When Francis sees this beast he thinks for a second. "Hey, I've been kind of curious about these things. Do you mind if I drive?"

What are you supposed to say...

Someone ordered a lion statuette for a Pride parade

Apparently there was a mixup at the manufacturer and they only sent the rear half of the lion.

What followed was a catastrophe

Cloud Roulette

Three men in a car get into a crash and wind up in front of Saint Peter himself.

"Ah, first vist of the day! Not that I wanted you to die..." Saint Peter looks at a small clipboard and says, "Names!"

All men respond with their full names.

"Okay then... What? That's odd... None o...

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A man is talking to the doctor about his wifes test results....

The doc says "I'm afraid there has been a little mixup in the lab". "What do you mean?" the man says. "Well your wifes results were mixed up with another patients. But I'm afraid it's not good either way. Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS". "Oh my god Doc, that is horrible, tell me what do I ...

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