UPJOKE
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If Stranger Things was British it’d be called

Bit Odd Innit?

When Tom Hanks writes his memoir it should be called...

'T. Hanks - For the Memories'

The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called....

Fast 10 Your Seat Belt.

What will the USA be called if it spilt into 2?

USA and USB

‘Horseback Riding’ should just be called ‘Horse Riding' because

where else would you sit?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The sexual position formerly known as 69 will now be called 96....

Because the cost of eating out has gone up so much.

You can paint a thousand paintings and not be called an artist...

You can run a thousand marathons and not be called an athlete...

You can cook a thousand meals and not be called a chef.

But as soon as you kill ONE PERSON...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only "b" word a girl should be called is beautiful

Bitches love being called beautiful

What would Cardi B be called if she decided to live a healthy lifestyle ?

Cardi O

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

**Algorithms.**

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would Hitler be called if he was blind?

A not-see.

It used to be called a Jumpoline..

Untill your mom jumped on it.

If Al Gore had a band, it'd be called...

The Algorithms.

I'm sooooooooooo sorry for this. :(

If a Ghost Rider should be called Daredevil, and Daredevil should be called Batman, what should Batman be called?

Inspector Gadget

If a sheep is in control of a country, it will be called

A dictatorsheep

Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal…

… Until the pressure got to him.

If a mini quiz were called a “quizzicle,” what would a mini test be called?

A quiz. Get your mind out of the gutter.

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What idiot decided they should be called "Fuck Buddies"?

When they could have called them "Cum Chums" instead?

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them?

WASWAS.

If Joe Biden's wife is called the First Lady, then what will his mother be called?

Joe mama.

Credit to u/Grignard_RMgX

If Mario ran a shopping delivery service, what would it be called?

MarioCart

A man is sat in an airport bar, having a drink, waiting for his flight to be called...

As he is sitting there a stunning woman walks into the bar and sits on the bar-stool next to him. She's wearing a very smart uniform and the guy thinks "She must work for one of the top airlines".

He decides to find out which one by running some of their advertising slogans past her.

T...

If The Lion King was a cow movie instead, what would their leader be called?

Moofasa

If a drug lord created a chocolate brand, what would it be called

EscoBARS

If death could collect taxes, what would it be called?

The death toll.

If you wanted to display data about well built furniture for horse houses, what would it be called?

A stable stable tables table.

Canada was originally supposed to be called Canad.

But whenever anyone spelled it, it came out as:
C
A
N
A
D
Eh.


If you don’t get it, reading it out loud might help.

The strongest inmate in a prison should be called the mitochondria

Because they’re the powerhouse of the *cell*

What will Post Malone's workplace be called?

Post office

After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA

It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.

Mermaids shouldnt be called mermaids

they should be called hu-manatee

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex ed should be called

In person learning

What would Donald Trump be called if he was a Sith Lord?

Taxi Vader.

Bugs in C code should be called fishes

Because fishes are found in the sea

What would high definition be called if invented in Paris?

The French resolution!

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

New fast and the Furious movie should be called... 'Fast 10: Your Seat belts'

Source: Wife's Facebook... made me chuckle.

What would RoboCop be called if he was a Transformer?

Stoptimus Crime

What is a 4-letter word ending in U-N-T that a woman can usually be called?

Aunt

What would a 19th century Russian sci-fi be called?

Tsar Wars.

What would Jeff Bezos’ currency be called?

Slavery.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would Hitler’s invasion of Czechoslovakia be called if it was done by Gen Z’s?

Vibe Czech

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would a sadistic Sean Connery sex shop be called?

Lash But Not Leash

What will the next Kim Jong Un be called?

Kim Jong Deux

How would Metallica be called if they sold beds?

Nothing else matress

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I played video games for 8 hours, I'd be called a loser bum

But if I watched TV for 8 hours straight, people would just think I didn't have anything to do that day

What would the Mandalorian be called if he was a woman that traveled through time?

Ma'amDeLorean

Films used to be called vmoies...

...but now they movie.

A garage should be called a Carage. And the parking spots closest to the door should be called CarKing spots.

Road rage should permanently be renamed to carnage.

If Canada launched a space shuttle, what would it be called?

Apollo G

What would a hammer be called in Minecraft?

MC Hammer

If two vegetarians get into a fight, would it still be called a beef?

Not sure, depends on what's at steak.

Just once, it would be nice to be called “Sir”

without also hearing “...we need to ask you to leave.”

If Jesus made cheese what would he be called?

Cheesus

As told to me by a very proud junior hamster who probably won't understand the hit my karma will take for sharing their joke.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would masturbating after smoking weed be called?

"Highjacking"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ashtrays should be called Asstrays...

because its where you put your butts.

(I have been calling them asstrays all 28 years of my life. I only JUST today realized it.)

If Bill Gates makes a COVID-19 vaccine what will it be called?

COVID-19 Defender XP.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A condom store should be called...

Dicks Sporting Hoods.

I don't think veterinarians should be called doctors.

They should be called dogtors.

I asked my friend what the sequel to E T would be called, and do you know what he said??

F U

Q: What would a Trans person be called if he/she has a child?

A: Transparent!

What would the Terminator be called in his retirement?

The Exterminator.

If you name your child jkmn, what will he be called!

Noel.

My used store for prosthetics will be called

The Second Hand, Second Hand Store

What would the next Frozen movie be called if the princess was black?

Afro-zen

Not sure if this could be called a joke

One just died and was born into a truly beautiful place, surrounded with all sorts of unimaginable pleasures. A man in a white robe came to greet him and said, "You can have everything you want - food, pleasure, entertainment."

He was so happy, and all day he tried all the things he had dream...

What is the cybertruck’s factory to be called?

The rendering plant

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