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Buh Jokes

Buh, buh ,bible . . .

A man with a stutter answers an ad for "bible salesman wanted". He walks into the office and says " I wanna suh, suh, sell buh, buh, buh, bibles ! "

The office manager, holding back a laugh, replies "sure thing, just take this here box and go door-to-door until they are gone. Then come back f...

A mother has two daughters and a son.

A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".

Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Interviewer: "In your CV, you wrote that you can perform under pressure. Can you give an example?"

Interviewee: "Sure. Mmm num ba de, dum bum ba be, doo buh dum ba beh beh, pressure pushing down on me..."

What does Bruce from Jaws put on his toast?

Buh-tah. Buh-tah. Buh-tah tah-tah

The Telegram

"Telegram"

Oh boy, I've always wanted a singing telegram!

"Oh, it's not a singing telegram, just a regular telegram"

Oh come on, you can sing it, can't ya?

"I really shouldn't"

How about for $5?

"Ugh... I don't think so"

$10?

"Sir..."

$2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John Cena

Bum buh duh dum.

Bum buh duh dum.

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered six offender.

buh-dum-tss

Whistle

I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle, so I bought a steel whistle but it steel wooden whistle, so I bought a lead whistle but it steel wooden lead me whistle.

Buh-dum-ching

Two drums and cymbal fall off a cliff...

buh dum, tish...

What do you call a fly when it retires?

A flew.

BUH DUM TSS!

No? Alright.. I'll see myself out.

What did the drummer say about his favorite drum set?

Now THAT’S a drum set I can get behind!

... buh dum cschhhhhhhh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between an old Greyhound terminal and a lobster with really big boobs?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustation! ::buh dum bum::

Why was the plant embarrassed?

It soiled itself. *Buh dum ts* *Dodges tomatoes*

How did the Australian make the Olympics?

He koala-fied!!!!!

Buh-duh-tss

There are five cows on a farm, one momma cow and four baby calves.

The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, “Momma, why is my name Rose?” The mommy cow replies, “Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born.”


The next calf comes up and asks, “Momma, why is my name Lily?” The mother replies, “Because honey, a lily petal fell on your ...

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