Brain Dead

A man got into a car accident and was rushed to hospital. At the hospital, the man's doctor declares him to be brain-dead. Soon, the man's wife shows up at the hospital. The doctor gives the wife the bad news.

"What now?! What are my options?" Sobs the wife.

The doctor replies, "Well, ...

What did the brain dead guy have for breakfast?


Roaming Zombie

A zombie was roaming through the woods looking for something to eat.

He came across two men - one sitting under a tree and reading a book, & the other typing away on his typewriter.

The zombie quickly pounced on the man reading the book and started to devour him.

Because eve...

Thanks to Kim Jong-un....

Donald Trump is only the second most brain dead world leader...

What did the preacher say at the vegetable mass?

“Lettuce pray for peas on Earth.”


“Why do I bother with puns, everyone here’s brain dead.”

A sociopathic egomaniac...

A sociopathic egomaniac authoritarian leader accused of causing the deaths of tens of thousands is brain dead. Meanwhile in North Korea, Kim Jong Un is reported to be in critical condition.

What's the difference between a ginger and a vegetable?

One's brain dead and the other is good for you

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets a call from a doctor...

The doctor says "Sir, i have bad news and good news. The bad news, your mother is brain dead. You will have to feed her, and change her diaper every day for the rest of her life..." The man starts to cry and the doctor says "Now, now.. the good news is I'm just fucking with you. She's dead."

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