UPJOKE
tankardglassbottlepintsnifterseidelpewterteachalicegobletmugstonewareearthenwarebeer headwood

Beer Glass Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A software tester walks into a bar

Backs into a bar.

Runs into a bar.

Crawls into a bar.

Dances into a bar.

Flies into a bar.

Jumps into a bar.

And orders:

a beer.

2 beers.

0 beers.

987654321 beers.

a lizard in a beer glass.

\-1 beer.

"qwertyui...

What do you call a German scientist who runs out of beer glasses?

Nein Stein

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes up to the bartender and bets him $50 he can pee in a beer glass from all the way across the bar...

... without getting a SINGLE drop on the bar. The bartender thinks it’s impossible so he takes the bet.

The guy places the glass at one end of the bar & stands at the other. He unzips and starts a’pissin. And it goes AAAAALL over the place, not a single drop even coming close to the glas...

Wife: *points to my empty beer glass* Want another one? Me: Sure, thanks

Wife: *hands me her empty beer glass* Bring one for me too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was in the bar with my buddy last night and he was sighing heavily and staring into his beer glass..

"What's up dude"? I said. "You look worried"

"So would you man." he replied. "My five year old son has gone and gotten our next door neighbor's gorgeous eighteen year old daughter pregnant!"

I said "No way, that's not possible"

He replied "Yes it is! The little bastard went and ...

A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator and loudly announces, “I’ll place my genitals inside this alligator’s mouth…

…the gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I’ll remove my unit unscathed,” he says.

Now, he has the full attention of the bar!

Here’s the deal, he continues, “If this works, everyone buys me drinks.” There is a murmur among the patrons, and after a moment, they a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Buffalo Bill walks into a bar.

He tells the barman to put an empty beer glass on the counter top. Then he steps back, unzips his pants, takes out his cock and from 10 feet away, fills the glass with his pee. As everyone claps, he claims :
\- I'm Bill ! Buffalo Bill !

Then a guy stands up at some table, asks the barman...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy orders a beer at the bar.

The bartender puts the beer pint in front of him with the coaster under the glass.

Guy drinks his beer and orders another one, the bartender picks up the beer glass but doesn't find a coaster and thinks nothing of it and serves the guy another round.

A few rounds like that and the guy...

The local bar was so sure that its owner was the strongest man around...

that it offered a standing $1,000 bet that no could beat him.The challenge was that the owner would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran out into a beer glass, then hand the lemon to the customer. Anyone who could squeeze even one more drop out of the lemon would win the money.Over the years many...

Banta the Furniture dealer



Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.


After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Lud...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A punk is sitting on the curb outside of a bar

asking everyone who walks in if they would buy him a beer, or spare some change for him to buy a beer. After a couple hours the bartender goes outside and invites him in, saying he'd give him a beer, but to stop harassing his customers. So, the punk takes a seat at the bar and the bartender gives hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe was having a beer in his town bar when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic and started shouting

"Hurry up! Your wife is cheating on your with your best friend in the woods out back!"

Joe slammed his beer glass down on the counter and stormed off to the woods, angry and furious to see it for himself

He returns after a short while, Sit on his chair and continues drinking.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar

And steps straight to the bartender and says: I heard that you are the meanest bartender around and everyone is afraid of you.
Bartender: If they say so, its true.
The man exclaims: Well im not afraid of you one bit and can do everything better than you.
Bartender: Is that so?
The man: Y...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.