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Backfired Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think Tumblr banning porn has already backfired

Now more of their users are getting off than ever.

(Narrator voice) You could say that France's plan backfired,

but if that were the case, it might have actually hit the Germans.

My snail entered a race, I took off his shell to make him faster. But It backfired.

If anything it made him more sluggish...

I gave my Marine buddy a gag gift.

I thought it would be funny to give him a 30 piece wooden jigsaw puzzle, intended for toddlers, as a birthday gift, but it backfired on me. Now, every time I see him, I have to listen to him brag about his puzzle skills.

"The box says 2-4 years, but I finished it in only a week and a half!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man from Brazil

Who swallowed a dynamite pill

His tummy perspired

His butt backfired

And his balls flew over the hill

"Hydrogen Monoxide! Hydrogen Monoxide! Hydrogen Monoxide!" shouted Santa.

*Asking the Chemistry teacher to play Santa this year seemed to have backfired*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While on holiday in Thailand my friend met a stunning girl in a bar, so he plied her with alcohol to make his chances of getting a shag easier.

His plan backfired though. When they got back to his hotel she was too pissed to maintain her erection.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

These are genuine clips from council complaint letters

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. it's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it h...

A man goes to the doctor.

He tells the doctor he's been hearing strange buzzing noises all week. The sounds come and go at all times of day, but they have been most intense at night. Sometimes there are multiple distinct buzzes at a time, at different frequencies. The patient says he has hardly slept for the past week becaus...

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