UPJOKE
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Autocorrect Jokes

The person who invented autocorrect walks into a barn.

He orders a bear.

The inventor of autocorrect died

The funnel will be held tomato.

My wife left me because of autocorrect

That's the last time she'll ever text me saying "Can you please bring home some milf from the supermarket?"

What's Autocorrect's blood type?

typo negative

Autocorrect...

The First Text Message

Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t l...

I used to be a programmer for autocorrect

They fried me for no raisin

Autocorrect Joke

Dear Autocorrect,


That's not what I meant to say and I'm getting real tired of your shirt.

My doctor diagnosed me with "Autocorrect Syndrome"

I didn't even know I was I'll.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn autocorrect!

My Wife texted me a selfie in a new dress and asked "Does this make my butt look big?"

I texted back "Noo!"

My phone autocorrected my response to "Moo!"

Please send help!

The guy who invented autocorrect dies.

Is he going to heaven or hello?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fuck Autocorrect!

It‘s my worst enema.

I hate autocorrect

The current that invented it needs to be execute do

I hate autocorrect...

It always makes me say things I don't Nintendo.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bloody autocorrect strikes again...

The other day I sent my best mate a text saying, 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river?'

I mean, how embarrassing...

I meant 'canal'

The guy who invented autocorrect has died...

...his funfair will be help next sundial.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It’s ok if your phone autocorrects “Fuck” to “Duck”

You’re still using Fowl Language.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The man who invented autocorrect has died.

May he roast in piss.

The man responsible for maintaining Autocorrect recently passed away

May he rest in pewxe.

Autocorrect walks into a bar.

The bartender asks him what he'd like to drink.

"I'll have a bear. A bare. Bier. Briar."

Autocorrect slumps in his seat, defeated. The bartender chimes in.

"Hey hey, why the log fence?"

Autocorrect Inspired Poem

It means no worries

For the rest of your days

Haiku na Mattatta

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I swear autocorrect is amazing.

No that's not what I said, I meant to say autocorrect is wonderful.

No! That's not it either. Autocorrect is a piece of technology I couldn't live without. Praise autocorrect.

Oh you gotta be kidding me. No one likes you autocorrect, they love you.

I didn't even type that.
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn You Autocorrect

A year ago, drunk and lonely, I stumbled upon Reddit by mistake when I was looking for RedTube. A year later the difference is obvious; one is a site full of naked people with no self respect, moaning and saying or doing all sorts of degrading things just to get some attention. The other appears to ...

Why don't vampires use autocorrect?

Because they love Type Os

I told my wife I wanted to be creamated.

She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

Edit : Dangit. I meant cremated... Where were ya on that one autocorrect..? 🤦🏻‍♂️

The Inventor of AutoCorrect died

The Inventor of AutoCorrect died.

Condiments are roaring in.

* He will be mist
* He was a very general food man
* He was killed in four luggages
* He is in a wetter place
* Paying for his knife and Emily
* Send flours and dalmations to---
* May he roast in piece
...

In 2018 I've had a horrible relationship with autocorrect.

But hey...

New Year, New Mexico

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My autocorrect just changed "Defecate" to "Ejaculate"

I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

Why do the nurses at the blood donation clinic have autocorrect disabled?

Because they always want more type-o’s.

To the person who invented autocorrect...

There's a special place in he'll for you.

My autocorrect is finally suggesting swear words.

However, now I have to be careful when I'm actually talking to my mom about ducks.

Why can’t we get a smartphone that can properly autocorrect in/on?

It’s really starting to get in my nerves.

My phone autocorrected "killed" to "kilt"...

Well plaid, phone... Well plaid.

Between typos and autocorrect it's getting hard to post on /r/jokes...

One tiny mistake and your whole post is urined.

Two autocorrecting iPhones walk into a bear

Bard*

BRA*

BOAR*

JESUS %#$&ING CHRISTINA AGUILERA

I hate autocorrect...

It fan cuck right off.

I believe autocorrect was invented by history's most famous scientist.

Albeit Einstein would disagree.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate autocorrect

I texted my grandma saying "Sex tonight".

I meant tomorrow

I hate autocorrect

I always end up typing some thong I don’t ninentdo

Selling an improved autocorrect?

Shut up and take my monkey.

Eight year old tells funniest joke

My eight year old cousin told me this one:

Why was Beethoven mad at his chicken?

Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach

We’ll we’ll we’ll

If it isn’t autocorrect...

A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender asks the rabbit “What can I get you to drink”.

The rabbit says “I have no idea, I’m only here because of autocorrect”.

Autocorrect is horrible...

I'm so tired of this shirt

Autocorrect is like my girlfriend.

It always changes what I said to something I didn't mean.

Autocorrect has friend zoned me.

It said that it loves me like a brothel.

We’ll we’ll we’ll…if it isn’t autocorrect.

o.O

I hate autocorrect...

It turns my writing into a total duckfest.

What's the difference between autocorrect and my kid?

Autocorrect knows every single word in english, except for swears.

I feel like we should all cut the guy who invented autocorrect some slack.

I'm sure he moans we'll

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Autocorrect: Without it you're fucked.

And with it you're ducked.

Really frustrating when autocorrect comes up with a *completely* different word just because you typed one letter wrong.

Someone told me there’s an easy fix,
I just hope they’re Rihanna.

If autocorrect were really smart, it would know when I meant gave or have.

*have or gave

Dear Apple: please stop autocorrecting things like “he HAD gone camping” and “he HAS gone camping”

Spelling mistakes are one thing, but don’t assume you know what tents I wanted to use.

I'd love to find a way to turn the autocorrect off.

I'm tired of that shiv.

Autocorrect keeps ducking up my joke every time I try to type it here for all of you.

Is it because of the fowl language?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there is one thing I crave it’s ha penis.

Edit: god damn autocorrect - happiness

Autocorrect sucks! Look what I've sent to somebody in the office by mistake...

- "Next Tuesday I'll lick you, suck you and bite you all night!"

- Hahahaha, what did you want to say?

- Thursday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does the Autocorrect of an Alabama man word it when the man wants to demonstrate his happiness about something?

Fucking Niece

How did na idiot survive after falling off a cliff?

He didn’t understand the gravity of the situation.

I had a really good joke...

but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime

A few weeks ago I wrote happy Eid to the Muslims and autocorrect changed it to Happy IED.

It almost blew up in my face.

I hit a clown car once. I faced 10 counts of manslaughter.

Damn autocorrect. I meant man's laughter. Everyone was fine.

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