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Rapt Jokes

Which monster is best at paying attention to a speech?

Mummies. They sit there rapt.

A pig was destitute. He yearned for his question to be answered.

“Manners maketh man!” He wailed. “You can’t rightly call me a man so what makes a pig?” A gentleman heard him.

“Hello old chap.” The man stood, drawing his pork pie hat from his head. “I believe I have an answer for you.” The pig was rapt.

“Please tell!” The man withdrew his pipe from...

A pilot crash lands on an uncharted island

He awakens bound by natives, and is dragged to a clearing in front of the tribe. Next to him is a large tree-stump and an absolutely massive native.

The natives are are cheering and hooting wildly, until the chieftain holds up his hand, bringing instant silence and rapt attention.

He b...

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The hypnotist

A renowned hypnotist is attempting a mass hypnotism in a large auditorium. There are over 15,000 people there listening with rapt attention. The hypnotist pulls out a very nice golden pocket watch and holds it up for the entire crowd to see. He begins by saying:
"This is a watch passed down from ...

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A pastor is leading a church that's running out of money, so one Sunday, he comes up with an idea.

About halfway through his sermon, the pastor reaches into his pocket and pulls out his gold pocketwatch and chain. He starts to gently swing the watch back and forth, pinching the chain between his fingers so the watch swings freely. By the end of his sermon, the normally lethargic members of the ...

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A woman (mom) was sitting at a bar enjoying a cocktail after work one night,

when the bar door opened and the most gorgeous hunk of a man she had ever seen entered.

He was tall, muscular, and handsome, with thick dark hair and beautiful, sparkling green eyes,

and his every movement was so masculine and sensuous that the woman could not help but stare.

Th...

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David wanted a set of of twins very badly, so he asked his friend Mike for advice.

David asked him, "You have three sets of twins, three! Tell me, what is your secret!"


"I'll tell you," replied Mike, "but you gotta do exactly as I say."


David nodded his head fervently, "Okay, okay, tell me!"



"So, it's a four day process," Mike started, "The fi...

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