What do you call a beta male's son?

A Simpson

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The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

A beta tester walks into a bar

A beta tester runs into a bar

A beta tester crawls into a bar

A beta tester moonwalks into a bar

A beta tester jumps into a bar

A beta tester sneaks into a bar

A beta tester orders 1 beer

A beta tester orders 2 beers

A beta tester orders 0 beers
...

My kids have been wanting a Beta fish

So we went to the pet store, but they told us it was stuck in development. .... I’ll see myself out

I've been breeding non-aggressive Siamese fighting fish.

I call them beta bettas.

You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male

They have a higher rate of penetration...

Walk

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, ...

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I used to own a beta fish

It would just sit and watch while I had sex with the little scuba guy.

What was World of Warcraft called in the beta stage?

World of Wardraft.

[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?

A mars-upial

I have a beta fish named Carl

He's a real lady killer!

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Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

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At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

I came home to find a Greek mathematician kidnapping my grandmother...

He saw me. Immediately, my hands went towards my phone, and he shouted,

"You stop right there! Or else imma beta your gamma!"

My mom just called her boyfriend an Alpha

She goes on to say - "That would make me the Beta half"

She never laughed so hard in her life.

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

Did you know they're testing fishes as house pet?

It's still in Beta

When God created the animals, He realized the sea creatures needed more work.

They were just beta fish

I asked my Indian father for a PS3

He said "No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."

Why did my app lose its previously large female following?

Because it went into beta. :(

A staff member once said..

The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.

As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average p...

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid

No wonder even their parents call them beta.

Why do jocks hate new technology?

They don't like betas.

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully they'll be beta soon.

Daedalus and the Labyrinth

Daedalus, the famous Greek architect and inventor, was relaxing in his home in the Blessed Isles of the Underworld when Hades, the Lord of Death himself, came to him with a favor.

"Listen, Daedalus," Hades began. "You know how the population of the dead here increase every year? The Underworl...

The owner of the local pet store let me take a test fish home to see if I'd like one as a pet...

...It was a beta

If they had a 4chan game...

It'd always be in beta.

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