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Beta Jokes

A beta tester walks into a bar

A beta tester runs into a bar

A beta tester crawls into a bar

A beta tester moonwalks into a bar

A beta tester jumps into a bar

A beta tester sneaks into a bar

A beta tester orders 1 beer

A beta tester orders 2 beers

A beta tester orders 0 beers
...

Did you hear the Cookie Monster got Covid?

The CDC confirmed it was the om-nom-nom-nom-icron variant.




Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Edit 2: Thank you everyone for the awards. Just trying to brighten everyone's day with a little joke. I hope this joke spreads far and wide....like Covid. Stay safe everybody...

You always hear about alpha males and beta males, but I'd prefer to be a gamma male

They have a higher rate of penetration...

Religion

I went to an Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty,...

What's a beta orbiter's job occupation?

An Asstronaut

My kids have been wanting a Beta fish

So we went to the pet store, but they told us it was stuck in development. .... I’ll see myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to own a beta fish

It would just sit and watch while I had sex with the little scuba guy.

Sakurai Brings the Beta Copy of Smash Ultimate on a Cruise

On the first night at sea, he finally decided try the prototype his team had been working on. After rigging up his switch, he finally opened up the box that held the precious cartridge.

The problem?

It was missing.

In a panic, Sakurai searched the entire room, but he couldn't fi...

What was World of Warcraft called in the beta stage?

World of Wardraft.

I have a beta fish named Carl

He's a real lady killer!

[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien?

A mars-upial

[OC] Everyone talks about being an "Alpha Male"...

I definitely consider myself a Beta male, lots of fun features, but I don't always work correctly...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

PornHub's working on a new feature.

It's currently in mastur-beta.

α and β played a 1v1 basketball match

β won, because it was Beta.

Why can't sous chefs get girls?

They're all beta cooks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The young woman who submitted the tech support message presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself.

The query:
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications and intimacy, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 unin...

I've been breeding non-aggressive Siamese fighting fish.

I call them beta bettas.

A woman walks into a pharmacy

She approaches the pharmacist and says:
- I need three boxes of Acebutolol.

The pharmacist was shocked and asked:
- It's a very strong beta blocker, why do you need so much?

The woman replied:
- I want to kill my husband.

The pharmacist was shocked now even more and h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

My mom just called her boyfriend an Alpha

She goes on to say - "That would make me the Beta half"

She never laughed so hard in her life.

Did you know they're testing fishes as house pet?

It's still in Beta

When God created the animals, He realized the sea creatures needed more work.

They were just beta fish

Why did my app lose its previously large female following?

Because it went into beta. :(

Indian men are statistically the least likely to get laid

No wonder even their parents call them beta.

My jokes are still in alpha

Hopefully they'll be beta soon.

Why do jocks hate new technology?

They don't like betas.

The owner of the local pet store let me take a test fish home to see if I'd like one as a pet...

...It was a beta

If they had a 4chan game...

It'd always be in beta.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

A staff member once said..

The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different heroes.

As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from the Open Beta and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average p...

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