A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are gross!"
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
credits to Adele Cliff, from the Edinburgh Festival Fringe. Link in the comments
How does the ghost of Adele scare people?
She sneaks up on them and says hello from the other side.
Did you hear Adele got a really bad sunburn?
She details the experience in her new song, "Aloe From the Other Side"
What did Adele say when she saw her ex-boyfriend at the playground?
HELLO FROM THE OTHER SLIIIIIDE
Did you know that Adele used to be a loan collector?
One day she got frustrated and asked herself "Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments, even if it leads nowhere?"
[Edit: typo]
My wife crashed the car listening to Adele,
She was rolling in the jeep
If Adele smokes a joint in a submarine
Is she rolling in the deep ?
Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?
She must have called a 1,000 times
Adele names albums by numbers, relating to important things in her life.
Her next is rumoured to be called 3.14159265359
Where in internet can you find adele?
Deep web. She's usually rolling in there.
Why did Adele crawl under the cow?
...to say hello from the udder side.
I'll take my Oscar now.
What did Adele name her sandwich shop?
A deli
What did Adele say when asked where her dog is?
Groomer has it
Singer Adele was rushed to the hospital after a fatal car accident
Paramedics said they found her rolling in the jeep.
What did the NFL Commissioner say when Adele turned down the Superbowl Halftime Show?
Never mind, I'll find someone like you
Just found out that global pop megastar Adele ripped off one of my songs for her debut album!
I don’t know if I can be bothered to take her to court over it though. Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing payments?
What did the computer want to name its baby?
If it's a boy, Dell. If it's a girl, Adele.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....
Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments
What do you call a laptop that sings?
ADell
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Can I have a free drink if I show you something amazing?"
The bartender agrees so he pulls out a tiny piano, a frog and a hamster. The hamster starts playing the piano and the frog starts singing Adele. As the bartender gets him his drink a punter asks him "how much for the singing frog?" The man replies "I'll sell him for £100 if you want?" And the punter...
What was the first computer to get a hit single?
Adele
If I have 5 pies in one hand and 6 pies in the other, what do I have?
Adele’s undivided attention
A man from Brooklyn...
A man from Brooklyn who worked for an entertainment company was tasked with with looking after meals for singer Adele, who was in town for a performance one day.
It was known throughout the business that she refused to work on an empty stomach and that this job was crucial to the success of ...
An 11-year-old student of mine just told me this. What do you call a singing computer?
Adele.
I took my laptop on the fishing boat one day when it fell in...
It was Adele, rolling in the deep.
why do apple computers dislike love songs?
they are all done by Adele!
As a musician, I've learned the best way to win a Grammy...
...is to not release your music in the same year as Adele.
Why can't a Mac sing?
Because it's not Adele
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