UPJOKE
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Abc's Jokes

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny and the ABC's

Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, wh...

A man is driving recklessly on the highway

A man is driving recklessly on the highway. A cop sees him me pulls him over.
The officer asks the man to step outside of his vehicle and then asks for him to pee into a cup.
The man replies " I can't do that I'm diabetic, my blood sugar will get to low"
The officer then asks the man to blo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cop performs a sobriety check

Cop: "say your abc's backwards for me please."
Suspect: "abc's? Backwards? Officer I couldn't do that if I was sober."
*brief pause*
Suspect: "shit."

A kid asks to go to the bathroom...

A kid asks to go to the bathroom in school, the teacher says "Okay, but you have to say your ABC's first!"
So he quickly says "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z".
She says "Very good, but wheres the P?"
And he replies "Running down my leg...."

Kindergarten Blonde

A blond girl comes home from her first day of kindergarten and says "most of the kids can count to 10, but I can count to 20. Is that because I'm a blond?"

Her mom says"yes dear, it's because you're a blond."

The next day the girl comes home and says "today we had to do our ABC's." Mos...

Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade, he comes home crying...

When his mother asks why, he replies, "The teacher told us to say our ABC's and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to "E" why is that?"

Mom says, "Cause you black and they white."

Next day Tyrone is crying again .

"What's wrong today Tyrone?" Hi...

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