I can’t believe it’s already October 35th

I am NOT looking forward to No Nut November

For our 35th wedding anniversary, my wife hinted that something in Jade or Coral would be lovely.

Admittedly, they were expensive hookers, but after 35 years of marriage, I thought we deserved it.

TIL that I was born exactly 9 months after my Dad's 35th birthday...

and my mom gives awful birthday gifts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. St. Peter comes out to greet them.

"Sorry about this guys," says St. Peter. "God didn't realize just how many people would get into heaven, so we have a new policy. You now have to tell me the story of how you died, and if I think it's sad or interesting enough, I'll let you in."

He walks up to the first man who is a nerdy, bo...

The 35 floors

A mother and her child drive home after a long day. They park, enter their building and notice the elevator is broken. The mother, exhausted, sighs and starts climbing the stairs to the 35th floor, where they lived.

-"Not now, honey, I'm too tired to talk..."
-"But mommy!"...

When wishes come true.

A married couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 35th anniversary. During their party, a fairy appeared to congratulate them and grant them each one wish.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her wand and poof - the wife had tickets in her hand for a world cruise...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Drunks

2 drunks sitting in a bar on the 35th floor of an inner city building. Drunk 1 says 'i tell ya, there's a draft that goes around this building, jump out this window and you get sucked in the 5th floor window.' Drunk 2 says 'bullshit'.

Drunk 1 says, 'watch me.' leaps out the window, falls, fal...

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