Here's an actual joke from my 6 year old

What is the pirates favorite part of the house?



The back-yarrrrrghd!



He was very proud of this joke and wanted to know if it was a good pun.

I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.

She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

From my 6 year old: What does a cloud wear beneath its pants?

Thunderwear!


Edit: Thanks so much for the awards! I told my 6yo this morning how much love his joke got, and he’s absolutely walking on air!

You may have just helped create a comedian, you monsters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From my 6 year old son.

Why did the rooster sit on the toilet?

He had to cock-a-doodle-doo-doo.

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There was a 6 year old and a 4 year old brother. It was the 6 year olds birthday that day. They wake up in the morning and...

The 6 year old says to his younger brother “Hey, I think today is the day we start using swear words around Mom. After all I’m 6 now.”

The younger brother starts getting excited and says, “Ok! What swear words should we use?!”

The older brother replies with, “I’m going to say hell, and...

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(Based on a true story): My 6 year old son walked into the family room while I was watching a movie. He points at me and proclaims "You licked a puss!"...

I muted the TV and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "I'm sorry? What did you say?"

He pointed again and proclaimed "YOU LICKED A PUSS!"

My mind stared racing... "Did we leave the door opened on date night last Saturday?" I then looked behind me and saw a candle burning.

"Son...

6 Year old son , after reading story of a king

Son: Mom I also want 4 wives, one will sing ,one bathe me, one will cook

Mom: And one will put you to sleep

Son:No, Mom I will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.God Bless you dear

Mom: Then who will sleep with your 4 wives?

Son: Let them sleep wit...

My 6 year old daughter just said to me..

"Dad, don't you find it inherently dishonest when people fabricate a false narrative using children to make the underlying message more humorous?"

I dunno what she talking about. Kids, eh?

I was doing a pretend job interview with my 6 year old daughter and I asked her, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

She said: “in a mirror”



This really happened and I still laugh every time I think about it.

My 6 year old made this up while taking his bath...

Knock knock

Who's there?

Dwayne

Dwayne who?

Dwayne the tub before I dwown.

A joke my chem teacher told my class which his 6 year old son came up with

What do only T-Rexes have?
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T-Rex babies

My 6 year old sone impressed me today. He asked me "What is the brownist number?"

What is the brownist number?

Number 2.

He has tried for months to come up with something original. Usually, they just don't make sense, or just aren't funny. This was the first time he had an original I cracked up at.

Telling a 6 year old girl that Jesus is watching her is tolerable,

but telling her Jesus is watching her when she’s 16 is creepy.

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6 year old: "Mom"...

"Mom is a penis a bad thing?"

"No, why sweetie?"

"Because dad is upstairs, trying to pull his one off!"

My 6 year old just made this one up, really proud. If a pear “paralyzes” you, what does an apple do?

It paralyzes you.

An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw

His child drew a horse.

The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."

The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"

The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"

The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"

The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wing...

An original joke by my 6 year old this evening. What is the largest number in South America?

A Brazilian!

My 6 year old little bro always tells me this one. What do you call ninja farts?

Silent but deadly

My 6 year old is coming up with dad jokes: What do you call Optimus Prime if he gets a tick?

Optimis-tick

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My 6 year old and I were at the store and he saw a woman with large breasts and he yelled “Dad, look at those big boobies!!” I whispered to him, “It’s not polite to say boobies, it might embarrass her”.

He thought for a minute and yelled “Dad, look at those chest cheeks!!”

(True story, that’s my boy)

My 6 year old son told me this one. "What do you call a snowman that's having a threesome with two hot princesses?"

I slapped my son and abruptly deleted his youtube kids app.

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A 6 year old & a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.

“You know what?” says the 6 year old. “I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old continues, “When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell & you say something with ass.” The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
...

My 6 year old son told me he wants to be tied very tightly to stars when he grows up

I asked why??


He said wants to be an Astronaut.

There was a 6 year old boy named Little Johnny

Johnny loved baseball and always had his ball and glove with him, but today he is hiding in his parents closet. From his vantage point, he could see his mother rolling around on her bed with the strange man who came over when his dad went to work.

Suddenly, he heard the front door open and hi...

While bathing my 6 year old son, he stuck a wet foam letter to my back.

I pulled the letter "P" away from my skin and my son said "Dad, I peed on your back!"

-true story, just happened.

My 6 year old Niece told me this: What do you call a tooth that has been mashed?

Toothpaste

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

Shy 6 year old needs your knock knock jokes!

My daughter is 6 and extremely shy. I talked to her teacher after the first 9 weeks of school and he said that she wouldn't even talk to him. She brought home her school work every day because she was too shy to ask for help when she got stuck in class AND she wouldn't ask to go to the bathroom whic...

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My 6 year old son caught me masturbating this morning...

He said, "What are you doing daddy?"
"It's called wanking," I replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why, daddy?" he asked.
"Because my arm is fucking killing me."

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A 6 year old little boy was sitting at the dinner table with his family.

He had never spoken his entire life, despite years of speech-therapy and other efforts from his parents.

He starts eating his dinner, suddenly stops, and looks right at his mom.

“You burnt the fucking beans”. He said

His parents couldn’t believe their ears.

“Johnny!! Yo...

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Knock knock...(from my 6 year old)

Who's there?

"Little girl".

Little girl, who?

"Little girl who can't reach the door knob".

A joke from my 6 year old nephew

Q: Why is Santa's sack always full?

A: Because he only comes once a year

Jokes for 6 year olds?

I am looking for some jokes for kids (6-8) year olds.

For example:

* Two tomatoes are walking across the road when a car drives over one of them. The other turns around and says "Hurry up ketchup!"

* Two raindrops were falling from the sky, busy talking together whe...

What's the difference between Caitlyn Jenner and a 6 year old pretending to be a T-Rex?

The 6 year old never killed anyone with a car

My 6 year old daughter told me this one: What do you call a book that has babies?

A booklet.

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One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and finds a 6 year old girl waiting for him.

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and finds a 6 year old girl in pajamas waiting for him.

The little girl is excited to see Santa and says "Santa Clause wont you stay and play with me?"

Santa, being a busy man says "Ho, Ho, Ho, I've got to go, there are plenty of ...

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A 6 year old runs up to her mother...

DAUGHTER: Mummy, why don't boys have vaginas?
MOTHER: They have a penis instead.
DAUGHTER: Does Daddy have a penis?
MOTHER: Yeah.
DAUGHTER: What does a penis look like?
The mother thinks for a moment.
MOTHER: It looks a bit like P...

Why was the anti-vaxxer’s 6 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

My nephew is in the 'why' phase of his life as a 6 year old...

and I told him 'Because it feels nice and you're an unreliable witness!'

A 6 year old asks what kind of dog is that?

I tell him it's a boxer

And the 6 year old replies with, yeaaa he looks like he got punched.

A 63 years old billionaire marries a hot 27.6 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 27.6 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age b...

Joke by my 6 year old niece

6: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me:I don't know why?
6: He didnt, he got hit by a truck!

Still gets me 13 years later.

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My 6 year old wrote a knock, knock joke today. It

My son: knock, knock
Me: who's there
My son: Nobody
Me: Nobody who?
My son: penis

A ridiculously rich man is buying his 6 year old nephew a birthday present

On his birthday, the boy gets a Porsche 911. For Christmas that year, the man bought his nephew a massive yacht. For his 7th birthday, the man bought his nephew a weeks holiday in Dubai. The boy's dad was getting worried about his son, as he wasn't getting gifts that a child his age would normally g...

My 6 year old niece told me this one.

What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests?

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

An investigator

Three brothers age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.

One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts his foot in and pauses. He yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see." He starts up the stairs and pauses, then he yells, "Was I going up the stairs or coming down?...

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Contagious…….(Read in an Aussie accent)

Miss Hamlet is teaching the 6 year olds new words. “Contagious” she says. Can anyone use “contagious” in a sentence?

Mary puts up her hand and says “the corona virus is very contagious!”
“Well done” says miss Hamlet, “next?”

Timmy put his hand up and shouts “chicken pox are contagi...

What's the difference between a 6 year old and a 16 year old?

Which hole they stick their finger in when no-one's looking.

It's my cake day, so I wanna share my favorite joke :-)

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party. He is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

He forced himself to ...

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two young brothers are having a conversation one morning.

The 6 year old says to the four year old, "When we go down to breakfast, I'll say a sentence with the word 'hell' and you say a sentence with the word 'ass'". The four year old nods his head in agreement and they excitedly go downstairs and sit at the kitchen table.
Mom kisses each boy on the for...

An 86 year old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check up

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor examined him and told him that aside from a low sperm count, he was perfectly healthy. The old man scoffed and said, "Nonsense, I’ve never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do y...

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