Unit Of Measure Jokes - 18 Hilarious Unit Of Measure Jokes

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones?

Skele tons!
Stay spooky my dudes

What is the standard unit of measurement for the Borg collective?

Cubits

What unit of measurement is used on a nose?

Scentimeters!

What’s the unit of measure for social influence?

Instagrams

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the unit of measure for time traveling breasts?

Quan-tities

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can we start using "stars" as a unit of measurement, instead of inches?

It sounds way better to tell the ladies I have a 5 star penis

I created a new unit of measure for the distance between you and the nearest large, predatory cat. It's called a weem.

Used in a sentence, "That lion is a weem away"

A weem away
A weem away

A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet

Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"

It's crazy that they only have one unit of measurement in North Korea.

A supreme liter

A good joke to ask another person

person 1: What is the unit of measurement used to measure electricity

person 2: What?

person 1: Correct!

What's the tastiest unit of measurement?

Milimeter (mm)

What do you call a professional unit of measurement?

Program

What unit of measurement do you use to weigh bones ?

Skele Tons

Back in ancient Egypt, the standardized units of measurements were based off the length of the current pharoah's body parts. The pointer finger would be one unit of measurement, the forearm another, and so on.

It could be noted, the pharoah was the ruler.

What is the First Order's standard unit of measurement for length?

A Kylometer

What unit of measurement did the ancient greeks use to measure their crops?

Demeter.

Stupid one I just thought of

What’s a hitmans favorite unit of measurement? A shot

Little Johnny was in math class

The class was learning subtraction with big numbers today, and the teacher decided to use money as the unit of measurement. Johnny hadn't been paying much attention, so the teacher called on him, "Little Johnny, if you start with $1000 and gave $150 to Lucy, $150 to Suzy and $200 to Brittany, what w...

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