Uncertainty Principle Jokes - 8 Hilarious Uncertainty Principle Jokes

Heisenberg is driving to a convention to show off his new Uncertainty Principle

On the way he observes the speedometer, and finds himself lost.

A cop car pulls over Heisenberg as he's driving on the highway...

Officer: Do you know how fast you were going sir?
Heisenberg: No, but I know where I am.
Officer: Well, you were going EXACTLY 100 mph.
Heisenberg: Great! Now I'm lost!

Shout-out to my physics professor for making the Heisenberg uncertainty principle less boring today.

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The Physics Professor says "Explain the Uncertainty Principle."

The student stand up. He says:

There's four nuns and they want to know about a penis so they ask the vicar and he says "Okay each of you have a feal."

Afterwards the first nun says: The penis is soft like the flowers in a meadow.

The second nun says: You are wrong my sister, ...

A physicist on trial for murder stated that Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle made it impossible to place him at the scene of the crime

The judge gave him a life sentence and told him to use his expertise to determine what quantity of his person was within or outside of prison at any given time

A physicist, a mathematician, and a biologist were in the park

A physicist, a mathematician, and a biologist were in the park eating lunch.

As they eat they see two people walk into a house.

After a while they see three people leave the house.

The physicist says "Simple, due to Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, the universe has spontaneou...

How many physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Assuming it takes place in a vacuum, approximating the lightbulb as a point particle, Assuming it takes place at precisely 300 K, and ignoring the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: π/3

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Problems In Bed

A man and his girlfriend were having sex for the first time. The man says to his girlfriend, "So you know exactly what position I'm in?"
She replies, "Yes,"
The man repeats, "You know EXACTLY what position I'm in?"
The girlfriend, slightly annoyed snappped, "Yes, I know EXACTLY what positi...

A physicist sits down at a bar and orders two drinks.

He places one in front of the empty seat next to him, while he slowly consumes the other. Upon finishing, he orders another drink. The bartender notices the untouched beverage and motions to it. "Something wrong with this one?" "No," says the physicist, "that one is for my companion." "Oh," say...

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