UPJOKE
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From my dad: What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

I take part in the sun tan competition every single year.

Why do I never get better than bronze!

I took part in the sun tanning Olympics

...I got the bronze

What kind of sun tan lotion does Macklemore put on?

...SPF Thrifty.

A friend went to the CVS in Baltimore after the looting to pick up some items,

the only things left behind were sun tan lotion and father's day cards.

I was tanning on the beach with my son.

After a while, he looked at me and said, "You're look like a lobster."

"Uh oh, do I need some sun tan lotion?" I asked.

He said, "No, you're just really ugly."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman flying around horny... (Dirty and Long)

One day Superman is flying around and he sees Wonder Woman sun tanning, butt naked and spread eagle on top of the justice league building. He thinks to himself, "I am fast as a speeding bullet, I can fly in, pump a few times, and be gone before Wonder Woman even knows what happened".

So as fa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three girls decide to swim across a long lake.

They want to find out which swimming style is better. So they each choose a different stroke. The race starts and all three start giving it their all not paying too much attention to the others. The brunette uses the front stroke and comes in first by about 5 mins. The red head shows up doing the ba...

There is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day...

One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body.

He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand except for the one part sticking out.

...

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