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Direct Sunlight Jokes

What happens to Nitrogen when you put it in direct sunlight?

It becomes DAYTROGEN!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a vampire I cannot bear direct sunlight, which is why I moved to Scotland

But now I can't find any virgins!

-- Frankie Boyle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Warning to all men about buying on eBay.

Be careful what you buy on eBay.

If you buy stuff on line, be sure to

check out the seller carefully.

I just spent £95 + postage,

on a penis enlarger.

Bastards sent me a magnifying glass.

The only instructions were, "Do not use in direct sunlight."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Finally the penis enlargement kit I ordered arrived

I opened the box all that was inside was a magnifying glass. The directions said, don’t use in direct sunlight.

Contradicting Coronavirus advice!

First, we hear alcohol may prevent the virus... now research suggests the opposite. Then we’re told heat and humidity has no effect, but wait... direct sunlight might quickly kill the virus. So, if you come across some elderly bloke, standing in the yard, intoxicated and naked, leave me alone... I’m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once, a man ordered a penis enlargement kit through a website

He was furious when he opened the packet which was delivered. All it had was a magnifying glass.

But he started laughing when he saw a note along with it: "Avoid using in direct sunlight."

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