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Stinks Jokes

One night, Pinnochio’s girlfriend says to him, “This stinks. Every time we make love I get splinters.”

So Pinnochio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice. Gepetto says, "Sandpaper,
my boy, that's all you need."

A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinnochio and says, "So
how are you doing with the girls now?"

Pinnochio says, "Who needs girls?"

From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?

You.

Why I oughta...!

What rhymes with “boo” and really stinks?

You

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Something stinks on my flight

I can't find it. I know I'm not the only one. Everybody around me has scrunched up faces. Someone hit the flight attendant button. The flight attendant notices quickly as well, and begins searching for the source. She starts ripping open the overhead storage bins, smelling each one cautiously. With ...

"What stinks in here?"

"I was playing with my laser gun"

"Pew"

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What planet stinks?

Ur anus

What stinks and sounds like a bell?

DUNNNNNGGGGGG!

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What's 60 feet long and stinks of piss?

A conga in an old people's home

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What has 153 legs and stinks of piss?

A line dance at an old folks home.

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This joke stinks.

Jim wakes up one day to discover that his farts are making a very unusual sound. When he farts, it sounds like his butt is going "HONDA! HONDA!" Furthermore, they seem to happen without any warning. He's obviously quite concerned, so he goes to the doctor about it.

He explains the problem to...

I applied for a job but my resume stinks...

...so I asked a friend to help me out by pretending to be extremely unqualified so that I would seem like the better candidate. Everyday he walked into the office and applied for the same job under a different name and in a different costume each time. On the first day he went as himself, on the sec...

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.

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Little Bobby was running through the woods

Little Bobby was running through the woods behind his house when the urge to go #2 struck. Bobby did his business behind a tree and carried on his way. The next day, Bobby was out behind his house again when he saw a swarm of flies circling yesterday's droppings. Intrigued, Bobby dropped his pants a...

My friend’s house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm.

Everything smells like dairy air.

My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks.....

So I drove her to New Jersey

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Two pensioners are engaging in oral sex.

Old Man: "I can't stay down here for too long, It stinks."

Old Lady: "Sorry, it's my arthritis."

Old Man: "Arthritis in your vagina?"

Old Lady: "No the arthritis is in my shoulder, I can't wipe my ass!"

Top managers are like leaf blowers.

They make a lot of air and noise moving a problem to another place. It stinks.

What do houses eat when their breath stinks?

Apart Mints

Joke my dad liked

Poppa bird, Momma bird, and Baby bird were sitting on a wire one Autumn morning when Poppa bird says, “My instincts tell me it’s time to fly south.”

Momma bird chirps in, “My instincts are also telling me it’s time to fly south.”

Baby bird looks at them confused and says, “Well my end ...

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The Plan

In the beginning, there was a plan
And then came the assumptions
And the assumptions were without form
And the plan without substance

And the darkness was upon the face of the Workers
And they spoke among themselves saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it sti...

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A man was headed into town to on a Friday night in his old pick up truck

He gets half-way to town and his truck begins making a banging noise and he pulls off to the side of the road to have a look. When he turns off the truck the noise slowly stops and he gets out to have a look.

The engine is hot, smoky and stinks like oil and gas and steam. At this point he ha...

So Bill Gates walks into an Apple store and farts the hell out of life. Everyone looks at him and says dude wtf it stinks.

Bill Gates b like "well its not my problem ya'll dont have windows in here"

It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it's actually a sausage

That's the wurst

A bee, a fly, and a mosquito signed up for a website that sometimes stings, usually stinks, and mostly sucks. What website is this?

BuzzFeed

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My new girlfriend is a cat person...

.. her breath stinks of fish, she shits in a tray, and she disappears for days at a time

Farting Issues

Patient: Doctor, every time I pass gas, the room fills up with smoke and stinks of petrol. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: Get some rest. You're just exhausted.

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Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench when a bum comes up to them.

“Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

The Polish guys look at each other, and one of them shrugs "I give up, what has two heads, four arms, four legs, and stinks like shit?"

"You and your f...

Been watching basketball lately, and I gotta say I can hardly tolerate Kevin Durant.

He stinks compared to his brother, Deo.

Last night I was laying in bed naked with my girlfriend when she started to cough.

She told me she might need to get tested for Covid.

I pulled the covers over her head, then I farted.

She goes "ewwww, that stinks. Oh my God I can taste it!!!".

Then I pulled the covers off of her and said "Congratulations. You don't have Covid".

What’s the difference between yo mamma and a Walrus?

One is fat, stinks of fish and has a moustache. And the other is a walrus

Asparagus is an interesting meal, not only does it affect your diuretic system, it also helps with hunches and gut feelings.

When you eat asparagus, you can trust urine stinks.

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A visit to the doctors

A young guy goes to the doctor. He says “doctor, I have this terrible problem with flatulence. I fart uncontrollably and they always smell incredibly bad. You have got to help me”.

So the doctor says “pull down your trousers and underpants, hop on the bed and let me have a look”.

So th...

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First time i had sex, when the girl pulled my pants down she yelled "WOW THAT'S LIKE A HORSE"

Very proud i said: "It's that big huh?"

She replied: "NO IT FUCKING STINKS"

St. George the Dragon Slayer rides up to a huge cave

"Come out, Dragon, and fight me!" he shouts into the cave. But there is no response.
"Come out, and fight me to the death" he shouts even louder. Still no response. And the cave stinks absolutely awfully.
"Come out, you cowardly worm," shouts St. George one more time at the top of his lungs,...

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A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road.

The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.

"We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks.

Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."

"But it stinks!" she exclaims.

"So hold its nose!"

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A lost cat

FOUND A STARVING, DIRTY, SMELLY, SKINNY, AND MATTED KITTY...

Hubby and I felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.' The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us know when we could c...

You enter the high school lab and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?

**If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology.**

**If it stinks, it’s chemistry.**

**If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.**

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