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S Process Jokes

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Guy has a tapeworm in his intestine and tries many doctors but everybody fails to remove.Finally he tries an alternative doctor whom everybody recommended heavily and visits him.

The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The patient is confused but does as he’s told.

The next day he shows up with two bananas and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert both bananas and the Snickers bar up the man’s ass.

The doctor then says ...

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A woman walks into a bank to deposit $100,000 in cash

The bank manager decides to handle this himself, as it’s such a large deposit. As he is processing her request, he asks, “Do you mind if I ask what it is you do for a living?”.

She says, “I make bets with people
For example, I bet you $50,000 that your testicles are cube shaped, like dice”....

An imam, a priest and a rabbi are having a discussion about what they do with the money they receive from worshippers.

The priest explains his process: « the way I do things is very simple. First, I take a big piece of chalk and draw a circle around myself. After that I take the money in my hands, throw it up in the air and what falls inside the circle is for me while all the money that falls outside is for the Lor...

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This dude dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter sees him show up and says “Holy shit, you’re the first person that’s ever come up here that’s exactly at 50% good and 50% evil. Not sure if I should send you to Heaven or Hell. This is crazy. Tell you what, since you’re exactly even I’m gonna let you choose”.

The dude says “Oh, wow...

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Peking Duck

A man is walking down a street, and sees a Chinese restaurant. He’s hungry, so he decides to eat there.
After being greeted, the man sits down at a table. The waiter then proceeds to ask the man what he wants to eat.
The man says, “Bring me a Peking Duck.” As the waiter starts to w...

Three women meet at the pearly gates

After dying, three women end up at the pearly gates and are questioned by St. Peter. He asks if they believe they are worthy of entering heaven; to which all answer that they are but they don’t know if someone is waiting for them on the other side.

St. Peter let’s them choose between the unk...

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First Blowjob

Big burly guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me a shot of whiskey.” Bartender pours him a shot, which the guy downs in one gulp, slams the glass on the bar, and says “Give me another shot of whiskey.” Bartender pours him another shot, burly guy downs it, slams the glass, and says “G...

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A man is eating dinner at a very nice restaurant with his Ostrich...

and as they finish up, the waitress brings him the bill. He owes exactly $84.38. The Ostrich takes a long drag from his cigarette, and without looking or hesitating the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly enough to pay the bill. The waitress was impressed but didn’t really give it a se...

A Journalist Visits a Boxing Gym...

A reporter for a well known New York newspaper was visiting a boxing gym, to investigate the importance of boxing to New York's culture. This gym had a reputation for producing some of the toughest boxers in today's game, but no one knew how. To get the most authentic story possible, he signed himse...

n Indian is calmly having breakfast... An Indian is calmly having his breakfast when an American, who is chewing gum, sits down beside him.

The Indian ignores the American who begins to chat :

The American asks :'Do you eat the bread entirely?'

The Indian answers,'Of course!'

American : 'We do not .We only eat the inner part. The crust is put in a container and processed and transformed into flour and sold to Indian...

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