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Running Water Jokes

I have a deep-seated fear of running water.

Or any liquid with legs really.

Why do so many Norwegians choose to buy properties with access to running water?

Because those are the properties that are affjordable!

My friend has no running water at his house, so I felt bad and decided to send him a card.

A “Get Well Soon” card.

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mikes' wife is beginning to deliver the baby

The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can fini...

I bought a house from a Native Indian and asked if it came with running water

He seemed mad and told me to get my own damn wife

What do you call something that gave up being a small body of running water to pursue a career in professional skateboarding?

Ex-stream

I dug a trench around my desk at work today, complete with running water, but the boss got really angry and made me fill it in…

Can't believe I've been demoated…

An engineer dies and goes to heaven.

When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. He says 'You were involved in some great civil engineering projects so I ought to let you into heaven but you were also involved in weapons programs that resulted in great loss of life' 'I am sorry but you will have to go to hell'. ...

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I went to view a house on a Native American reservation.

"I like it" I said. "Does it come with running water?"

"Fuck off" He replied. "Get your own wife."

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Social experiment

Social researchers from Oxford devised an experiment to place three men from diverse cultures on an otherwise deserted island. They decided on one man from France, one from Germany, and one from Japan.

The German was told he is in charge of shelter, the Frenchman was put in charge of meals, a...

Yo mama so fat

She fill up the bathtub before running water

Engineers and Lawyers

One day, an engineer died and went to heaven. But, St. Peter said "I can't let you in because your name is not on the list." So the engineer went down to Hell and was let in. Well, he stayed there for a couple of days and then decided that, it was too hot and everything was inaccessible. So he built...

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An engineer dies and goes to heaven...

The engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail...

An engineer dies and arrives at the pearly gates...

St. Paul sees him and says - 'Engineer? You're not welcome here - beat it!'. The engineer arrives in hell, and is immediately dissatisfied with his living conditions. After making several improvements, hell has flushing toilets, running water, escalators and even air conditioning.
One day, God ca...

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A man decided to go hunting...

He drove up to the wilds and stopped at a hunting supply shop. The owner sold the man a precision hunting rifle and then the man went out to hunt. He’d read lots of information about hunting, picked his spot downwind of the watering hole and he waited... and waited.

He was surprised by a ta...

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