UPJOKE
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Quantum Computer Jokes

A man calls quantum IT support and complains that his quantum computer isn't working.

Quantum IT support: "Have you tried turning it off and on at the same time?"

What did the duck say when he broke the quantum computer?

Quark

I'm not happy with my new Quantum Computer

Every time I try to solve a problem it collapses

What message does a quantum computer have when you view an image?

"Do you want to save changes?"

A physicist asks his friend “want to test out my new quantum computer?”

Friend agrees, sits down and quite impressed says “oh wow, would you look at that”

Physicist: “Great... I guess I need to get a new one”

Quantum Computers are rubbish

When you want a result they collapse

I just lost my quantum computer!

I checked to see if it was on, and now I don't know where it is...

Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?

Because you're never totally sure what values they hold.

Can a quantum computer run Crysis?

yes and no

I own a quantum computer.

When I'm looking at it, things do not load. When I'm not, they instantly do so.

I refuse to accept non-binary

Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.

(Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.)

A scientist was being interviewed by the press

The press asked him "Can you explain to us about quantum computers?"

He replied "Yes and No at the same time"

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