Pencil Sharpener Jokes - 14 Hilarious Pencil Sharpener Jokes

Did you hear about the man who got depressed after he lost his favourite pencil sharpener?

Everything seemed pointless!

I need a pencil sharpener.

Just to put it bluntly.

What do you call a pencil sharpener that can't sharpen pencils?

Broken

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two CEOs meet after....

One of them has visited Japan. So they are talking about how the trip was and one says:

"look I got this amazing robot secretary from there, it does everything human secretary does except 20 times faster and 200% more efficiently."

The other one says: "that sounds impressive but does ...

The pencil sharpeners at my school are racist.

They have signs next to them that say “No Colored Pencils”.

Where does a pencil sharpener keep its money?

In a shavings account.

If I put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener

Will it come out sharp or shredded?

Thank you, pencil sharpeners!

For always making a good point.

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Should've told him

Peter: "Your secretary is very sexy..."

Tony: "Thanks! It's a robot actually, named 'Maria'. If you squeeze her right boob, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left boob, she types letters! I'll Lend it to you for a day & you can see her functions..."

Next day Peter call...

[ORIGINAL JOKE] A secretary is like...

a pencil sharpener, you can't really say it's yours until you screw it on your desk.

The man who invented cats’ eyes...

The man who invented cats’ eyes to make the roads safer at night got the idea when he saw the eyes of a cat in his headlights.

If the cat had been going the other way, he would’ve invented the pencil sharpener.

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Just a joke my grandpa told me.

So Jimmy is in class and he walks up to the pencil sharpener and looks out the window. He sees two bowlegged gentlemen and yells, "Hey check out these two funny-looking assholes!" The teacher immediately scolds him and tells him to read two chapters of Shakespeare. The next day Jimmy sees the sam...

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A man walks into Radio Shack and sees that they have "The All In One Female Office Bot" now for sale!

The man walks up to the counter and asks the employee, "what is so special about that robot?"

"She is an all in one. If you squeeze her left breast, she will write down anything that you say and if you squeeze the right breast, she will type anything for you." the employee states.

"I'l...

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A male manager is assigned a state of the art, hot female looking robot secretary for the office...

...As he's being trained on the many features it has, he's told the robot will basically do anything he wants. He asks, anything? The installers reply, anything ;) and once they were done, they went onto other offices in the building to install more robots.

The manager instantly locks the doo...

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