UPJOKE
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One Step Jokes

Do you know the one step to avoiding clickbait?

Obviously not.

gg y'all, inbox = rekt

One step.. two step.. three step.. four step.. five step.. six step.. do you know what this is?

Stairway to Seven.



That was a dumb joke, but it was the first thing that popped in my head this morning.

Forgiving your enemy brings you one step closer to God

But being pushed down a Flight of stairs by said enemy brings you to God faster

I'm one step closer to being rich.

Now I just need money.

One step at a time

Divorced dad: Son I'm going to marry again

Son: so I'm going to have a step mom

Dad: also she is pregnant

Son: oh no please one step at a time

I was one step away from hitting the rock bottom

His bodyguard caught me, Dwayne is a well protected man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you're ever in Africa and come face to face with a lion, take one step sideways and then one step back. Repeating this process lets you move obliquely away from the lion...

...and prevents you from standing in your own shit.

How to lose weight in one step?

Step 1: step down from the weighting machine

The saying goes that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

This must be very frustrating for a fish.

I was told if I wanted to plan a murder, I needed to take everything one step at a time...

So I pushed my victim down the stairs.

How to become a mod in one step

Step one: [deleted]

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three vampires are having a competition to find out who's the most vicious vampire amongst them.

The first one says, “Watch this,"


  
He flies fast, at about 100 miles/hour. After 10 minutes, he comes back with blood all over his mouth.


 

“What happened?" asked the other vampires.


  


“Did you see that house over there?" he inquired....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sex addict, an alcoholic and a chain smoker go to a hypnotist.

The hypnotist tells all three that while under hypnosis, if they ever indulge in their vices again, they will die immediately after.

On the way back from the hypnotist, the three men are walking by a bar. The alcoholic can't help himself. He says, "Fuck it. That guy was full of shit. There's ...

Three girls die and go to heaven...

They are greeted by st. Peter at the pearly gates. He welcomes them and then says "But be careful, there are lots of ducks in heaven. If you step on any you will be punished". The girls go in and the first one steps on a duck right away and the ugliest man in existence gets chained to her for eterni...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Conspiracy Theorists Die...

...as they stand before God waiting to be judged, God tells them that they each may ask him one question they have always wanted to be answered and he would answer it.

One of the conspiracy theorists steps forward and asks “who was REALLY behind 9/11?”

Before God can answer, the seco...

Three old brothers that are 94, 96, and 98 live together.

One day, the oldest brother decides to take a bath, so he fills up the tub. He put one foot in, then stops. He yells down the stairs “Was I getting in or out of the bath”.

The 96 year old yells back “I’m not sure, I’ll come up and see”. He takes one step up the stairs, stops, and yells “Was I...

Three friends die and go to heaven...

Three friends die and go to heaven. When they reach the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets them, giving them the usual spiel that everyone gets when they're about to enter, and as they are walking in he says " By the way, I almost forgot the new rule. Whatever you do, don't step on a duck." The three fr...

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