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O'reilly Jokes

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John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting ...

My sister married an Irishman

"Oh really?"

"No, O'Reilly"

Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly walk into a bar

Or do they?

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What kind of sex has Bill O'Reilly never had? [nsfw]

Consensual

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What did Bill O'Reilly say when his evening of necrophilia failed?

Fuck it! We'll do it live!

What will Trump watch in the evenings now that Bill O'Reilly is gone?

Bill will go over and do it live.

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to another guy.

The first guy says, "That's a familiar accent you got there, where ya from?"

The other guy says "I'm Irish".

First guy says "I'm Irish too! Where did you live in Ireland?"

The second guy says "Dublin".

F...

My friend is Irish. - Oh really?











O'Reilly actually.

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A specimen, you ask?

So Mrs. O'Reilly, a dear old lady, hadn't been feeling too well lately, and she tells her husband, he tells her to give it a couple of days and if she still doesn't feel better, he'd take her to the doctor. A couple days pass, and dear old Mrs. O'Reilly isn't feeling any better so they make the trip...

Irishman...

Old Patrick O'Reilly is on his deathbed. He calls his oldest son to his bedside:

"Son, you wouldn't deny yer poor old father his last request, now would you?"

"No, of course not, Da! Anything!"

"Well then, I want you to run over and fetch the Protestant minister across the wa...

A guy arrives at the gates of heaven.

St. Peter welcomes him and gives him a tour of the main building. One of the room is filled with clocks.
St. Peter explains: "These clocks keep track of every lie someone deceased or still alive has ever made. For example, this is Mother Teresa's clock. The time is exactly midnight 0 minutes 3 se...

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Which 3 US bills have to do with sexual harassment of women?

Bill Cosby
Bill O'reilly
Bill Clinton

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Wow, Trump is making America great again...

Aaron Hernandez is dead, Bill O'Reilly got fired. Trump is actually getting rid of the criminals and rapists!

Matthew 11, Luke 9 and John 12...

...are just three of the boys Father O'Reilly has to stay at least 50 yards from.

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A young lad goes into the local pub..

...and finds old man McKeagan sitting at his usual stool. He asks him "old man McKeagan, what is it you're known for? Me da is O'Reilly the blacksmith, me brother is O'Reilly the carpenter. But no one will tell me what you're known for." Old man McKeagan slides off his barstool and says "Come with m...

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The Man who Chose Heaven Instead of Hell

Evan O'Reilly was known throughout America as a truly exceptional man. As the curer of several diseases, the discoverer of many life supporting planets, and the inventor of many new robotics, he was given an option as he neared his death. He was visited by the Angel of Death when he was 108 (his new...

"Oh, really?"

one man to another:
A: "You know, my daughter has married an Irishman"
B: "Oh, really?"
A: "No, O'Reilly"

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