In the year 2016, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said: "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me." "Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah ...
What's the difference between Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc?
One was made of wood, the other was Maid of Orleans.
Football game on Noah's Ark
Okay so the animals have been on the ark for thirty days and thirty nights and frankly they are getting bored. So to provide entertainment B-Deck challenges C-Deck to a game of football. They get it all set up and begin play. B-Deck makes some early gains but C-Deck is unstoppable. They have Rhinoce...
Noah's Ark
God: Noah, it's time to build another boat.
Noah: Oh, OK, you’re the boss. Do you want the same again, animals, two by two?
God: Actually no. We forgot the fish last time so this time this will be just for the fish. Also, build it with more than one deck.
Noah: Big boat, only fi...
When Noah's Ark settled safely after the flood, he opened the doors and commanded the animals, “Go forth and multiply."
All the animals departed from the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaimed again, “Go forth and multiply,” but the snakes stayed put. Perturbed, Noah asked them, “Why have you not followed my command?”
*“We can’t multiply. We’re Adders.”*
Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?
They were looking for the ark tick.
What type of lights were on Noah's Ark?
You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
Noah's Ark had landed, and the flood waters subsided....
..and Noah released all the animals in the Ark, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply!"
All the animals dispersed, except for a pair of snakes.
Noah looked at them and asked, "Why are you not doing as I said?"
One of the snakes replied, "We can't multiply, we're adders."
So, ...
Modern Bible Stories: American Noah's Ark
…..And the Lord spoke to Noah and said: ” In one year, I am going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed, but I want you to save the righteous people and two of every kind of living thing on earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to build an Ark.” In a...
Yo Mama so old...
Her first cruise was on Noah's Ark.
"Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinson's."
"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors since before Waterloo."
"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.
"I can assure you they are very goo...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
It's the second day on Noah's Ark and all the animals are meeting up with their counterparts.
The unicorns find each other, and the first unicorn introduces himself, saying "Hi, my name's Frank." The second unicorn says "Hi Frank, I'm Jerry!" The unicorns in unison say "Oh shit..."
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