UPJOKE
alkylmethanolhydrogenmethanemethyl groupmoleculeesterbromideethylethermethacrylatedimethylhydroxylmethylenediethyl

What did the dad say when sodium, phosphorus, titanium and some methyls walked into his child's bedroom at night?

NaPTiMe!

A tramp walks into a decorating store

A tramp walks into a home decorating shop.
The guy behind the counter greets him

"morning, what can I do for you today?"

"2 bottles of methylated spirits please!"

The guy has seen this before "no way buddy, I know your game, you're gonna drink em, it'll kill ya I won't have ...

Why did the 22140857×10^23 molecules of Methyl Acetate go to jail?

It was a Mole-Ester!

A Hobo/Tramp walks into a hardware store and asks for a bottle of methylated spirits

The cashier refuses to sell it to him, ‘you’ll just drink it! It’s terrible and will kill you, I’m not selling you this!’

‘I promise I won’t, honest to God I won’t drink it!’ Says the hobo.

‘Ok, I’ll sell it to you, but no drinking it!’

‘Thanks!’ Says the Hobo as the cashier rea...

Methylated Spirit

A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.

"Bottle of methylated spirit please."

"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."

"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"...

What do you call a dead crackhead?

A methylated spirit.

Happy NY!

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