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Messes Jokes

How do they clean up messes at the Vatican?

Papal towels.

The butcher's wife always messes up everyone's order.

We call her Miss Steak.

What's it called when your backpack messes up your spine?

schooliosis

What happens when a musician messes up during a song?

He has a tempo tantrum.

What's it called when someone messes with unpurchased product in central Florida?

Tamper Bay

My mom: You know, I love you very much. I'll fight with anyone who messes with you.

Me: You must have a lot of internal conflict

Sister: *gasp*

Mom: ....

Note: mom teased teased us a lot when we were kids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old guy is in the hospital and messes himself.

He doesn't want attention and is quite embarrassed. He's on the 4th floor and figures that he can change the sheets himself and toss them out the window and no one will know that it was him. During this time, there is a drunk guy stumbling outside along the hospital wall. When the old guy in the hos...

A rope walks in to a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve ropes here."

The rope walks into the bathroom, ties himself up, messes up his hair, and walks back to the bar to try again.

The bartender says "hey aren't you that rope from earlier?"

The rope says "Sorry, I'm afraid not."

I was told to describe myself in three words...

I replied with "always messes things up".

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