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Alors Jokes

*Ouch!!* *Zut alors!!*

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime ...

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

The European Union is proposing to build a public toilet in Brussels.

They put the job out to tender. They get in 3 responses.


First in is Hans from Germany. He gets straight to the point. "I'll build it for €30,000."
The Eurocrat behind the desk looks up from his note pad. "Can you give us some more detail, Hans?"
"Ja! €10,000 labour, €10,000 m...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman and a Frenchman are sitting opposite a beautiful young woman and her mother on a train going through the Alps

The train passes into a tunnel and the carriage is suddenly plunged into darkness. A short while later, everyone hears a loud *slap*, and a cry of *zut alors*! When the train emerges, the angry Frenchman is rubbing his cheek.

The older woman thinks: "That dirty Frenchman must have tried to to...

Une blague en Français - For french people only

Une femme avoue à son mari qu'elle a un fantasme depuis plusieurs années de faire l'amour pendant qu'un grand noir leur fait du vent avec une feuille de palmier.

Après y avoir bien réfléchi, le mari décide de demander à son collègue de l'aider.

Le lendemain, ils sont donc tous les 3 (l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Italian, a Frenchman and a Chinese man are hired to dig a tunnel

The foreman assigns the tasks before they begin to work.

"Alright Gino here will dig the tunnel, Henri will reinforce it with wood and Wang will be in charge of the supplies."

And so the Italian, the Frenchman and the Chinese man set off to work.

The following afternoon, the for...

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