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Vous Jokes

A man is walking with his child on the street when a tourist approaches him asking

- "Parlez vous francais?"
Our man looks surprised and says nothing. The tourist changes the language:
- "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"
Again, no response. The tourist tries his luck once more:
- "Habla español?"
Seeing that he receives no answer, the tourist moves on.

The child,...

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool... (/r/AskReddit comments section liked it and I was told that you might like it, too)

*It's a joke I know in french. So I tried to translate it and did some improvments since my first comment, too:*

A 3rd grade class goes to the swimming pool.

The lifeguard asks to the class: "Does any one of you already know how to swim?"

Then the little Dimitri, all excited, an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Frenchman, a Brit, and a New Yorker go on a safari...

Along the way they run into a tribe of cannibals. The chief was a pleasant fellow, but had some unfortunate news for them.

"Gentlemen, I am sorry but I must follow the way of my people."

"Oh?" says the Brit. "What's that?"

"Well..." the chief responds, "We will kill you, cook...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar in Vegas.

He has a parrot with him. This parrot is wholly remarkable; it is fluent in Spanish, French and English. So, being a betting man- they're all betting men down in Vegas -he goes up to the bartender and tells him, "I'll bet you this here bird can speak Spanish."

The bartender knows this type, a...

Foreign Language

A Swiss man, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Englishmen are waiting.
"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he says.
The two Englishmen just stare at him.
"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" The two continue to stare.
"Parlare Italiano?" No resp...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Australian, are hiking through the South American jungle

When all of sudden, they see a crystal clear pool at the foot of a mountain. They're all hot and tired, so naturally, they strip off and jump in, and to their surprise, that are captured by natives. They are brought in front of the chief and told that the pool is sacred. He tells them that they are ...

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City

A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked. "Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man. Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug. The foreigner continues with the same result ...

I went into this fancy restaurant…

…and asked:
“Can I have some Sesame Chicken please?”

The waiter said “sorry sir, this restaurant is French Cuisine “

“Ok, can I have Sesame Chicken, s”il vous plait?”

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Frenchman are walking through the jungle...

They’re very tired, and they decide to take a shortcut across a nearby river to quickly reach their camp.

As they cross the river, a tribe of savages charge out of the trees and surround them. The tribe Chief steps forward and says

“This river sacred ground... you trespass on sacred ...

The Talking Cat (Original)

Two French brothers are out fishing when one hooks something on his line. After a lot of huffing and puffing by the two of them, they pull up a small wooden chest. They open it, and inside there is a small tabby cat with a note that says "This is a magical talking cat. Please take care of him."...

Two british men are sitting at a bus stop...

When a man, clearly not from their town, comes up towards them.

"Parlez-vous Français?" The man asks the two Brits.

Confused, they stare blankly at the foreigner.

"Hablan ustedes Español?" The man tries again - still no reaction from the two men.

Frustrated, the foreign...

A Joke Translated from French

An elderly American couple is on holiday in France when the wife dies suddenly. The man is heart-broken but he knows that his wife, who loved France, would want to be buried there. He begins making arrangements to have her buried when he realises he has nothing to wear. He seeks out the hotel's c...

The foreign tourist

Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks,

"Parlez-vous français?" (Do you speak French?)

They stare at him. He tries again,

"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?)

They shrug.

"Hablas español?" (Do you spe...

A girl calls a psychic saying:

*"I dreamed that I had one leg in Spain & the other in Germany. What does that mean?"*

Psychic: *"That you gonna pee on France"*

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^Français, ^je ^vous ^aime

^Edit: ^Qrammar

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