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Joint Account Jokes

At the bank, I told the cashier, " I would like to open a joint account." .

He enquired, " With whom?"

I answered, " With whomsoever has lots of money."

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Typical Men

There onced lived a rich man who wanted desperately to get married. So in order to determine a suitable wife he selected 3 women who he found attractive and gave them each $10000 to do as they please. The first woman spent her $10000 on a makeover and went to the man. She said "i spent the money on ...

My wife and I started a bank account to help with our weed budget

It's our joint account

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A man's choice

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys severa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady went to the bank.

She said to the Banker. I'd like to open a joint account.

"With who?" asked the banker, She replied.

"Anyone who has lots of money and a big dick"

My debit card was declined at the local Marijuana dispencery today

Turns out the card was not linked to a joint account

For the past 10 Christmases and birthdays my wife has given me the same card and then said “I don’t think it’s working anymore”.

The card is always the joint account Visa.

My friend and I opened a shared bank account for buying weed.

It'll be our joint account.

A rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana...

And hands it over to the bank teller.

Confused, the bank teller asks, "What's this for?"

The rasta replies, "Me here to open a joint account."

My brother and I sell marijuana.

We keep out money in a joint account.

My wife and I spend so much money on arthritis medication and weed that we made a whole new bank account just for those two things!

It's a joint account

TIL never deposit your marijuana in a bank account...

Unless its a Joint Account.

What is the first thing stoners do after getting married?

Roll their money into joint accounts.

I was at my divorce settlement yesterday, when I announced I would like to make a suggestion...

They agreed, so I told them, "She can have the car, the house, all the funds in our joint account and full custody of our children on one condition... I get to keep whatever I have in my pocket."

"It's a deal!" my wife said, with a smug look on her face.

"You obviously didn't check the...

The Psychic

Fearing her marriage is crumbling, a middle-aged woman visits a highly respected psychic renown for the accuracy of her predictions.

In a dark and hazy room, she tells the psychic of her fears and growing unhappiness.

The mystic peers into her crystal ball, then looks at the woman an...

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