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Indian Chief Jokes

Indian chief

So there's this Indian reservation, and the food stamps are 3 days late. People are starting to get uppity about it. So the local chief has to leave and go talk to the government people about it. He doesn't know English very well, so he is scared. But he makes sure not to let other see fear on his f...

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There was an indian chief who was constipated...

...he sent one of his warriors to the witch doctor to get some medicine. The warrior goes to the doctor and says "Big Chief, no shit". The doctor gave him one pill and told him "the chief should be fine tomorrow"

The warrior went back to the chief and gave him the pill. The next morning the ...

The Indian chief goes to the Medicine Man because he hasn't been sleeping well...

The Medicine Man asks, "Anything in particular causing the problem?"

The chief replies, "Well, I'm just having strange dreams."

The Medicine Man asks, "What type of dreams are you having, Chief?"

And the chief tells him, "Some nights I dream I'm a wigwam, other nights I dream I'...

An Indian chief had three wives.

Each of his wives were pregnant.


The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide.


A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide.


The thir...

An American Indian chief took three wives...

To the first, he gave a buffalo hide. To the second, he gave a deer hide. But for the third, his favorite, he sent a brave far away, across land and water, to retrieve the rare and highly coveted hide of the hippopotamus.

Within a year, the first two squaws had each borne the Indian chief a s...

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A good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessities

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets.

When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. ...

An Indian chief goes to the village shaman...

An Indian chief goes to the village shaman and asks him if this year's winter will be harsh. The shaman thinks about the question for a while, does his thing and says "oh yeah, it will be a terrible winter"

So the village stockpiles everything they can as to survive the terrible winter. Winte...

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(NSFW)The pilgrim asked the Indian Chief:

"How about letting me have one of your women for a while"?
"That depends on how much money you have" the chief replied.
The pilgrim said" I don't have a nickel, all I have is a bag of corn."
The chief accepted the corn and led the pilgrim into a teepee, where a woman offered him her backsid...

The Indian chief goes to the white man doctor and asks "Too many papoose! What do?"

The doc gives him a condom, and explains the principles.

A couple of months later, the chief comes back, saying "No good! Right nut go urggh! Left nut go urrgh! Rubber go boom!"

So the doc cuts a few custom "rubbers" out of the fingers of a heavy duty latex glove, saying "Try these...

The Lone Ranger’s Last Request

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaims,

"So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ..

"In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"...

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An indian chief and his son

An indian chief and his son were sitting around a fire with most of the tribe members. The son decided that one day after a very long time of wondering, he would ask his father the process of naming the tribe members.

"Father? how do you know what to name the tribe members as they are born?" ...

Why does the Indian chief hate snow?

It's White and all over his land.

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A tribal Indian Chief needs toilet paper...

so he heads to the supermarket. He has never been to a supermarket before and has no idea where to start. He starts wandering the aisles marveling at all of the different products lining the shelves. A clerk notices the Chief walking around aimlessly.

-Hi sir, you look lost. What can I help y...

An Indian Chief and a Pilgrim are out hunting in the fields.

Chief - "Never hunted with white man before."

Pilgrim - "Don't worry I aim well. Last year I took down a..."

The Chief stops walking and slowly kneels down and places his right ear against the ground.

The Chief stands up. "Buffalo. Come."

Pilgrim - "How do you know?"
...

Have you heard of the Indian Chief who drank 15 cups of tea before bed time?

He drowned in his teepee

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Two Indian chiefs are talking.....

1st chief says, "White-Cloud have cock so long, he tie in knot".
2nd chief replies, "How cum"?

A long time ago, an Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

An Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

Several days later a man went into the outhouse and noticed the chief. Startled the man asked, "How long have you been in there?"

"Many moons my son, many moons!"

And that was my favorite joke as a kid.

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An Indian chief was having constipation...

So he went to the doctors, and told him his situation. The doctor said "so you are a trouble having a bowel movement?" When the chief responded with yes, the doctor prescribed medicine for him. And he told the chief to come in in a week. As promised, 7 days later the chief came in. The doctor asked ...

An Indian Chief was taking a week off in Las Vegas

After just two days, he had gambled away all his funds, so he sent a smoke signal back to his tribe asking them to wire him more money.

The tribe signalled back, saying "No way, you're being reckless with your money and we're not sending you any more!"

Just then, a nuclear bomb was det...

The Indian Chief thought that it was going to be a bad winter

so he sent all the braves out to collect wood. As he watched them return laden with timber from the forest he suddenly felt that he ought to check his forecast so he phoned the local met office.

"Tell me, is it going to be a bad winter?"

"Yes" said the forecaster " it will be a bad one...

An Indian Chief drinks 1,000 gallons of ice tea

He drowned in his own tepee

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A female reporter, interviewing an American Indian chief, asked the significance of the Varied number of feathers in Indian headdresses.

"Feathers show number of sexual partners," the chief replied. Indicating a nearby young brave,
He continued, "Him? One woman, one feather. Him ?" pointing to a second, older man,
"Three women, three feathers."


The reporter looked at the Chief's headdress. "But you have so many fe...

you hear about the indian chief that drank a case of tea

he died in his tee pee

a father told his two sons to cut some fire wood

A father told his two sons two cut some fire wood after they were done cutting the father told the youngest to go up the hill and ask the indian chief how cold the winter is gonna be, once the boy got there he said to the chief 'Chief how cold is the winter gonna be?' the chief turned to the boy and...

A ventriloquist cowboy finds an Indian tribe

A ventriloquist cowboy finds an Indian tribe and decides to play a trick on the Indian Chief. While the cowboy is talking to the chief, a dog walks up. The Cowboy says to the chief, "Do you mind if I talk to your dog?" The chief, with a puzzled look, agrees. The cowboy asked the dog if the chief tak...

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Social progress....

A wise old Indian Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking a
Ceremonial Pipe and eying two Canadian Government officials sent to
interview him.


"Chief Two Eagles" asked one official, "You have observed the white man
for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his techn...

A cowboy gets captured by Indians...

So a cowboy gets captured by indians. The indian chief comes up to him and says "ok, we're going to kill you, but I'll grant you three request before we do". The cowboy says "ok, first I'd like to talk to my horse. The chief thinks this is weird but says yes.

The cowboy whispers in his hors...

The Lone Ranger joke (NSFW)

The Lone Ranger was riding off in the desert when he gets captured by Indians. They tie him to a stake and the Indian chief says to him. "Unk, Lone Ranger we kill'em at sundown, give'm last request". Lone Ranger thinks about it and says "I'd like to talk to my horse." The Indian chief says "Hmm migh...

One of my Great Grandfathers favorites...

A traveling salesman steps off of a bus in a small Midwestern town. He has some time to kill so he asks the ticket counter clerk what there is to do around the area. The ticket clerk tells him that all the bars are closed because it's Sunday but if he walks down to the end of the main road there's a...

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The Lone Ranger..

and Tonto were riding when all of a sudden they were surrounded by Indians. That was when Tonto informed the Lone Ranger that he was tired of being his sidekick and sold him out. Once in captivity the Lone Ranger was given one last request from the Indian chief. He requested to speak to his horse, S...

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Joke about an island

3 guys are stranded on a desert island, They are captured by a native tribe.

They are brought to the indian chief who tells them to each get 5 fruits from the island.

guy 1 comes back with a bag of 5 bananas, Leader tells him to shove them up his ass without flinching or showing any em...

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For as long as anyone could remember ...

this indian chief was in charge of naming all the children that were born in the tribe.

One day, this one brave comes up to him and says " Chief, how do you name these children? How do you think of their names ?"

The chief says "Very simple, when a child is born and i see snow gently f...

A cowboy is riding across the plain one day,

when he sees an Indian chief laying on the ground with his ear pressed firmly to the earth. Never having seen this before, the cowboy says "Hey chief whatcha doin there." The chief in broken english says "Ugg, buffalo come." The cowboy says "That's amazing chief, how can you tell?" The Chief reply...

A cowboy, bored with his life, decides to head east...

He embarks by train from California, hoping to seek a new job and new adventures.

Somewhere in Arizona, the train slows down at a small station and passengers stream on and off. Looking through a window, the cowboy sees an old Native American man wearing what looks like the garb of a powerful...

How did the heckawii indians get their name?

They split off from a larger tribe and fallowed a river, they walked for weeks and months until finally coming to a great plain, the Indian chief looked at the medicine man and said "where the heck are we?"

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Chief Running Deer

About three years ago, driving through Arizona, I had to stop and pee. I went into a small gas station and there was an Indian guy there sitting at a table in full Indian Chief Regalia. A small sign said "Chief Running Deer. Greatest memory in the world. Ask any question for $1."

I figured...

Indian Instincts

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come."
"How do you know?"
"Ground shaky."
The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens.
"Man come."
"Is there a vibration?"
"No."
"Then how do...

The Native American Hitchhiker

A man is driving home from work one night when he sees an Indian Chief hitchhiking.
Feeling sorry for the old man, he pulls over to pick him up.
The Native says nothing for a good five minutes. He then, noticing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s on the passenger floor, grunts “mmmm, good whiskey”....

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