My son lost a youth baseball game because of heavy rain...

...he received a precipitation trophy

Two elderly widows, Dolores and Mary, met at a restaurant after a heavy rain.

Both were smokers, but they arrived drenched from head to toe. Dolores noticed that Maryโ€™s cigarette was still dry because it had a covering. Dolores said "Mary, what's that on your cigarette?" Mary responded "It's a condom. I buy them at the drugstore to keep my cigarettes dry on rainy days." D...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The Aquatic Research Fish ponds overflowed last night because of heavy Rain.

it flooded the residential area nearby. A man walked into his back yard the next morning and saw his entire basement was filled with water, and hundreds of fish swimming in his pool. He went in his house and called his insurance company. He told the representative what happened. She replied "Sorry, ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A guy buys a vintage motorcycle he saw for sale in an ad in the paper.

When he goes to pick the bike up, the dude who sells him the bike says, "

"Now remember....that's all original leather. You can't let it get too wet. If it starts raining and you don't have anywhere to shelter it, make sure you keep a tub of vaseline with you. Rub it all over the seat so the ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Don't know if it's NSFW but just to be safe

3 cockroaches are in a human bathroom, talking to each other. Suddenly, a human enters, so one hides in the bath, one hides in the sink, and lastly one hides in the toilet.
After the human does his business and leaves, they all meet up. The bath one asks if everyome is fine as he is. The sink one...

God Will Save Me

A heavy rain began to fall onto a small town. Townspeople were instructed to evacuate as it was believed the rain would not stop and floods were coming.

One man refused to leave. A van pulled up in front of the house and emergency personnel instructed the man to evacuate as the rain became he...

The class had to write a short, rhyming, two-lines poem as homework.

Lisa stands up and proudly recites :



*Yesterday, my Dad and I we went to town*

*And I got a nice blue bike of my own.*



"That's a lovely poem, Lisa!" says the teacher.

Now it's Timmy's turn. He stands up and recites theatrically :



*When octob...

A man and his wife are woken up at 3 am by a knock on the door

The husband goes downstairs to answer it, and finds a drunk on his porch soaked from the heavy rain outside.


"Can I help you?" asks the husband.


"Yes I'd like a 'push' please," replies the drunk.


The husband replies, "Not a chance, it's 3 in the morning!" and slams t...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

So three men were out hiking and got surprised by a storm...

Luckily there was a convent nearby so through the heavy rain they hurried to the main entrance and knocked.
An old priest, the leader of the convent opened and listened to the men's pleading.

"I may grant you shelter tonight, but you see, since I am the only man here we have to test wheth...

Brother Philippe

Brother Philippe worked at a monastery. New years eve comes around and Brother Philippe is stuck with the midnight shift. The weather is terrible. It's poring down. At 11.30 a strange comes in, with a hood covering his face. He ask for a room for the night and Brother Philippe says "of course". The ...

Optimist Joe

An optimist by every account, Joe was sitting in the bar when his friends come to him and say, "Joe, how can you call yourself an optimist when bad things are always happening ?" To which Joe replied, "there's always a good side to every situation, you just have to know it."

So, they tell Joe...

I signed up for some Meteorology courses.

MET 104 Standing in Deep Water

MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain

MET 106 Acting Amazed

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