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Gott Jokes

During World War 2, the Germans on the front line put up a sign "Gott Mit Uns"

The English replied with a sign of their own "We got mittens too"

Real story.

A man in ancient Rome cannibalises his wife and frames his neighbor Ridiculus.

Ridiculus goes to court and says, "I'm-a in-nocent-a! You have-a gott to beli-eve-a me!" (Ancient Romans sounded like Italians, in case you didn't know.)

They sentence him to fight in the colosseum. Turns out he his quite good at fighting. In no time he becomes the best, and he makes a great ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hitler used an astrologist to give him guidance in battle...

One day he told the man, "you've served me well. We are winning battles and the war and I'm very pleased with your work. Your ability to predict the future is amazing. But there's one thing I wondered about and wanted to ask you."

How can I serve you mein Fuhrer?

"Do you know what day ...

There are two freezing germans at Stalingrad, and one turns to the other and says...

Gott mit uns.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Hitler decided to have beet juice with his breakfast

However, he spilled some on his white shirt, which made him look like he was bleeding. Having just walked into the room, his bodyguard exclaimed, "Mein Gott! Are you hurt? I bet it was that bastard Strasser!"

Hitler calmly reassured him: "Nein, the juice did this"

A German, an Italian and a Newfie are sitting on a steel girder...

...hundreds of feet above the ground, having lunch. The German opens up his lunch box and lets out a groan. "Mein Gott!" he says. "Not wiener schnitzel again! I'm so sick of wiener schnitzel, if I ever have to eat wiener schnitzel for lunch again I'm going to throw myself from this girder."

T...

German Hell and Italian Hell

Mario Schultz dies. He was an awful person, therefore he goes straight to Hell where he stands in front of the Devil.

"Welcome to Hell, mr. Schultz" says the Devil "it occured to me that you have both german and italian citizenships: according to ILODAD (International Law On Destination After...

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