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Go To College Jokes

Why did the slave go to college?

To pick up his master's degree.

A teenager is trying to decide where to go to college.

He's stuck at a crossroads between three schools - Harvard, Hampden-Sydney, and Alabama. To try and get some guidance, he asks his father,

"Well, what are my chances of getting laid at Harvard?"

"Oh, not good at all," his father says. "They're too focused on studying and working to hav...

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Two rednecks decide to go to college...

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.

"What's Logic?" the first redneck asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Le...

The Sun doesn't need to go to college

Because it already has 28 million degrees.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Sailor Smitty has retired after a long life at sea, and decides to go to college.

One of the first classes he takes is “Human Sexuality 101.” Why not?

On the first day of class the professor says “We will be discussing a variety of human sexual combinations and experiences. There are a great many… “

Sailor Smitty shouts “104!”

The professor says “That...

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Billy was the first person in his small town to go to college.

After he’d been there a few weeks, he lost all his money at a fraternity card game. He thought about his options and had an idea.

His father had just written him to ask how things were going. Billy wrote back and said, “Dad, you won’t BELIEVE what they can do at this school! They can teach...

How was the sword able to go to college?

Because it was *very sharp* young brand

Where did Montezuma go to college?

Az Tech

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy moves away from home to go to college.

He lives in a dorm, so he had to leave his cat behind.

One day he calls home and his little brother answers. He asks what's new.

His brother says, "Mittens died."

"Holy shit. Why did you just blurt it out like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"You could have broken it ...

I'm going to major in Marijuana when I go to college...

I hear it's a growing field.

Why didn’t LeBron James go to college?

Because he struggles with finals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Where do prostitutes go to college?

Fuck U

I didn't go to college, I went to the 'School of Hard Knocks'.

Because I wanted to get a job as a door-to-door hearing aid salesman.

You have to go to college

me: you have to go to college

son: but why though?

me: to be able get nice things (shows him my watch) you see this?

son: yeah

me: I stole this from my roommate freshman year

(From Internet)

I don’t understand why people pay so much to go to college

when they can get a wife and get free lectures day and night

Why don't flat earther's go to college?

They're afraid of coming out 'well rounded'

Where did the car go to college?

Tulane University

Why did the test tube go to college?

To become a graduated cylinder.

Where did the pirate go to college?

Yale. He was rejected from H**arrrr**vard.

Joke from my 7 year old cousin - Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

Why did Johann Sebastian only go to college for 2 years?

He only needed an elor's degree.

I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would have taken all my tests at a restaurant

Because the customer is always right

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob are sitting in a bar, enjoying beers.

Jim turns to Bob, and says, "You know what, I'm going to go to college!" He then leaves the bar and makes his way over to the local college. He is met with the Dean of Administration, who is explaining to Jim what classes he is going to take.

"Alright, Jim. You are going to take 4 classes," t...

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What's the difference between a proctologist and a retail worker?

The proctologist needed to go to college to deal with assholes for a living.

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Three boys were sitting on a curb, admiring a parked Cadillac, Mercedes and BMW.[NSFW]

The first kid says “man, I’m going to keep practicing my three point shot so I can go to the NBA, and buy a Cadillac like that one.” Second kid says “I’m going to go to college, get a good job, and buy a Mercedes.” The last kid says “I wish I had a nice pussy.” The first two kids exclaim “WTF you wa...

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God will provide

My daughter brought her fiancée home to meet her mother and me. I asked the young man, "How do you intend to support my daughter?"

He replied, "Well, sir, I didn't go to college and have had trouble finding a job but I know that God will provide."

I then asked, "Do you have any savings...

If boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider...

and girls go to college to get more knowledge... does that mean that ladies go to hades when they have babies?... this would explain a lot about pregnancy

Uncle just told me this one.

There was a man sitting at a bar, and he looks over at the gentleman sitting next to him and says, "Hey, you look familiar. Are you from around here?"

The man answers, "Yeah, I live down the street."
"No kidding?" says the first man, "Well, so do I. And hey, you look about my age. Where di...

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