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Genetical Jokes

I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you...

I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

Guy at a grocery store: Are those genetically modified eggplants?

Store worker: Why do you ask?

Eggplant: Yeah, why do you ask?

"Should I be concerned about eating genetically modified tomatoes?"

Tomato: "No"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know their genetically modifying prostitutes? NSFW

They're called GMHoes.

Scared of eating genetically modified fruit?

Grow a pear.

What do you call a genetically engineered cow?

A Mootant

Dave: Excuse me, sir, is this carrot genetically modified?

Clerk: No, why do you ask?

Carrot: No, really, why do you ask?

Why do people hate genetically modified vegetables?

I thought everyone would be on board; We're just trying to make it so they don't need their wheelchairs anymore.

Why did the genetically modified chicken taste better than the regular one?

It was CRISPR!

Why was the first person to have their eyes genetically edited so pleased?

Well, who wouldn’t want CRISPR vision?

Say what you will about genetically modified animals

At least were should get CRISPR bacon!

What Sound Does a Genetically Modified Cow Make?

"Gmoo"

What would you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster?

Your funding taken away and a call from the ethics board.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store...

...so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.

They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big st...

What happens when you leave a genetically modified baby in the womb too long?

They come out a little bit CRISPR!

If you genetically edit the DNA of lettuce...

... you can make it CRISPR

Not mine... I read it off Twitter

Being genetically engineered, evaluated, selected, and trained from birth to be a super-soldier...

before being deployed to a fight a technologically inferior foe in a far-off country to secure economic gains for your overseers, then being either left to die or executed for convenience, is either the plot of a dark and kickass dystopian fiction novel, or a technically accurate description of the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Executives at Monsanto have announced an initiative to genetically alter deer for increased movement speed.

Those assholes will do anything to make a quick buck

A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified.

"No." Said the farmer "No." Said the tomato

If you’re genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors, does that mean you’re…

…typo positive?

You’re more genetically related to your parents than they are to each other

Or at least so I hope.

Where do you keep genetically modified vegetables that cure cancer?

In the CRISPR drawer.

How did Alice feel when her doctor told her she is genetically more likely to develop a yeast infection?

Thrush-traited

Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus

They say its bark is worse than its bite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of Bees produce milk?

There is no creature for which this is more true than the honey bee. Amazingly, queen bees are genetically exactly identical to worker bees. But they’re fed a different diet from worker bees their whole lives, from the time they are tiny larvae, until the day they die. This different meal plan cause...

Lady goes to the market to buy potatoes.

Lady: excuse me, sir, but are these potatoes genetically modified?

Grocer: probably, but what's it to you?

Potato: yeah, what's it to you?

A guy walks in a supermarket to buy tomatoes

Once he reaches to the tomato stand he asks:

Guy: Are this tomatoes genetically modified?

Tomato: No.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

SUMMER CAMP FOR Husbands. Evening classes for men. Starting this month.

*Summer camp*

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of the content, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

*Topic 1.*
How to fill ice-cube trays and why to fill water bottles before putting them back in the fridge.
Step by step with slide pre...

My cousin has dark hair. His wife is blonde. All four of their kids have light colored hair.

Genetically speaking, there's a 15 in 16 chance that she's cheating.

So, tensions with Russia flair up...

... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 ye...

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