UPJOKE
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Gabe Jokes

Gabe Newell should be president

That way we'd never have WW3.

I don't know if Gabe Newell would be a very good president.

But at least there won't be a world war 3.

Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

The American people should elect Gabe Newell president in 2020.

That way we can be 100% certain the President of the United States will not start World War III.

The Teacher Asked the Class to Name Something that Ends in -Tor and Eats Things.

Gabe raised his hand first. He said, "Predator."

"Clever answer! They sure eat things!" The teacher told him.

Next, Dylan raised his hand. "Oh! I know! Raptor!"

"You are very smart! Raptors eat many different things," the teacher said.

Then, little Timmy answered. "Vibrat...

Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together.

Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count.

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

"Babe, it's a valve!"

A woman is at the park with her son when he starts misbehaving.

She looks at him sternly and says "If you don't stop before I count to 3, we're going home!"

1...

2...

2 and a half...

2 and three quarters...

2 and five sevenths...

Just then a man taps her on the shoulder and hands her his business card. Hi I work for Gab...

What are your favorite "joke names"?

Here are some of my favorites:

Mike Rotch
Lou Skunt
Gabe Oytoucher
Gabe Athouse
John Gulbunny
T. Nanal

A mother in law knocks on the door, her son in law opens it....

MIL - hi Gabe, I'm here for a visit.

Gabe - cool. How long are you here for?

MIL - I don't know, as long as you want me to.

Gabe - you mean you won't even stay for a cup of tea?

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