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Dinosaurs Jokes

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they're dead.

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

Which one of Santa's reindeer do dinosaurs like the least?

Comet.

Which drug should dinosaurs never take?

A steroid.

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?

You bet jurassic can

How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?

With fossils.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

Dinosaurs once looked down on Chuck Norris.

Just once.

They say the asteroid killed all the dinosaurs.

You could say it killed many birds with one stone.

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

The asteroid event that ended dinosaurs

was technically the highest ratio of killing birds to one stone

What happens when you let dinosaurs drive?

You get tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Why do you not eat dinosaurs eggs!

Because their eggs stinked

What were dinosaurs called before the meteors hit?

Live-osaurs

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

Tyrannosaurus Checks

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Because of ereptile dysfunction.

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.


I'll show myself out now

Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?

Because they’re all dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...

A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.

There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind ...

Why do dinosaurs like sushi?

Because they like their food ROAR!!!

Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct

They found Jesus and got raptored

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.



"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"



"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."


"You wish is my command". There was meat.


"And what do you wish for?"


"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

Why did the dinosaurs girlfriend get pregnant?

Because they did it rawr.

What is a dinosaurs favourite deodorant

REXona

What do you call it when all the dinosaurs go to heaven?

Velocirapture

We tried to tell the dinosaurs that they were headed for extinction

but it was all in one era and out the other.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists have discovered that some dinosaurs were homosexual in a recent discovery

Megasaurarse will be coming to a museum near you

"Hello, you here to talk to me about Dinosaurs?"

Answer the door and see that its a sale man from an internet service provider. They have stopped at my house ten times in the last year to tell me about the digging in my area and I decided to have some fun with them today. Here is the conversation from today:

Me: Hello, you here to talk to m...

Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn’t find the herbs?

It was the land before thyme.

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

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