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Ding Dong Jokes

Dong. Ding Dong.

- James Bond's doorbell

If you receive an email with the title "DING DONG", do not open it!!!

It's the Jehovah's witnesses, working from home

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eagle who had just been divorced went out looking for new love one day...

He was flying around, and on the ground he spotted a dove. He flew down,
had a bit of ding dong with the dove,
then flew away. The little dove laid there and said...

"I am a little dove, I've had a bit of love, but I liked it."

The eagle was still flying around, and on the ground...

How do you get a Twinkie pregnant?

Put it in a box of Ding Dongs.

Did you see the news about the fight that broke out when they played the wrong national anthem for the winning team at the Asian table tennis finals?

The headline read "Hong Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong".

Why potato ding dong?

Godzilla! (Can someone explain this to me? My 8-year-old told it to me and was really proud of it.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Super Sex?

So Grandads been living on his own for a while and on his birthday his son decides the old man might enjoy a hooker.

So he hires a really expensive, exotic hooker with curves in all the right places.

She dresses up nicely and shows up at Grandads door.

Ding dong.. Grandad ope...

[NsFw] What was Lorena Bobbitt's favorite form of mischief?

Ding dong ditch.

Ding Dong

"Hi sir, UPS, I've got a parcel for your next door neighbour"

"Oh then you've got the wrong house sir, he lives over there, bye"

1: Knock Knock! 2: Who's There?

\[5 seconds of silence\]

2: Oh it's a ding dong ditch(ding dong dash).

Three nuns die ...

…and arrive at the pearly gate where St Peter greets them “Before you are allowed to enter heaven you must answer one question each”.

First nun, here’s your question “Who was the first woman on earth?”
“Ahh, that’s an easy one… That was Eve” the nun replied.

DING DONG! Welcome to H...

What are Jehovah Witnesses' favorite dessert?

Hostess Ding Dongs!

I went as John Cena for Halloween last year

But everyone kept slamming the door on my face saying "damn ding dong ditchers"!

How do you tell the difference between a male door from a female door ?

One's got a ding dong and the other knockers.

What's a Jehovah's Witness's favorite snack food?

Ding Dongs

I wrote a movie about a male sheep and his son enjoying a Hostess pastry.

I call it

*Ram, a Lamb, a Ding Dong*

The money jar

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money; he asks the bartender what it’s for, and he replies, “There’s a cow in the back. If you can make her laugh, the jar is yours,” so the man goes out back and comes out a moment later and grabs the jar, The bartender goes to the back and sees the cow...

What do you call a woman who ghosts after a one-night stand?

A ding dong ditcher

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a man with a long schlong.

His schlong was so long they say it was about a foot.



Just a few inches was all it took, and every lover of his was shook.



His long dong was the schlong that made many a woman a mom.


Unfortunately, his long ding dong didn't touch your mom, and your chances of...

Little Susie gets back home from playing outside.

She runs in and says, "Dad, dad! A man at the playground asked me to touch his ding dong!"

"Oh my god, Susie! Are you ok?! What happened!" He frantically asks.

Susie says, "nothing else; he said that if I did, he would give me this watch."

03:00 doorbell

Ding-dong, Ding dong! I rolled over to look at the clock: three in the morning.

"Oh no! Something terrible must have happened!" said my wife.

I dragged myself out of bed, fumbled around to find a robe, and went downstairs. I opened the door, to find a disheveled stranger.

"H...

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The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

The owner of hostess just brought the playboy mansion

Guess he really liked ho-hos and ding dongs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was this couple who had lived together for 10 years

The man had an uncanny habit of farting extremely loudly every morning. Each fart would smell like jackshit and cause his Wife to feel nausea as well.

One day his Wife got so angry that she yelled at him that he would fart his guts out if he continued farting like that.

The very next m...

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"The kid who didn't know what swear words are"

A young boy goes downstairs to the kitchen to find his parents fighting. The father call his mother a "Bitch". The little boy asks, "Daddy, Daddy what's a bitch?" The father's response, "Oh nothing, just a name I call your mother." The mother retaliates but calling the father a "Bastard". The boy as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Awkward Dinner Party

A young child was enjoying a cool drink in his room when he heard noises coming from his parents room. He proceeded to the room, wherein he found his parents arguing. His father called his mother a bitch and his mother called his father a bastard. Later on that day he asked his mother, "mummy what d...

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