Optimus Prime, in full on robot battle, wondering how the decepticons keep figuring out his next moves before he makes them

only to look down and see that his blinker was on the entire time.

What do you call a group of Decepticons?

A Decepticon-voy

My wife asked me why I carry a gun around the house. I said decepticons.

She laughed. I laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster. It was a good time.

My daughter asked what I was doing with my shotgun, I said I was hunting decepticons. She laughed, I laughed, the refrigerator laughed, I shot the refrigerator. Turns out...

It's illegal to fire a gun within city limits, I got arrested.

My wife found me in the kitchen naked holding a gun

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, shocked at my appearance.

"Quiet woman! I'm hunting decepticons!" I whispered back harshly.

She put her hands on her hips. "You've been sleep walking again! There are no such thing as decepticons!"

I blinked, realizing how stupid I lo...

My wife asked me why I carry around a gun in the house.

And I answered, because of the decepticons!

She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, I shot Alexa.

It was a good time.

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Edit: Thank you all for the upvotes and yes, this is a adaption to an old joke, i thought it was fitting regarding todays article about Alexa "laug...

Transformers

Last night at midnight, my wife came downstairs into the kitchen where I was noisily going through the cupboards with one hand while in the other was my semi automatic pistol.
"What the hell are you doing" she demanded.
I glanced up at her and answered "Looking for Decepticons."
There was a...

My wife caught me in the kitchen with a gun

"What are you doing waving a gun around?" she asked
"Hunting Decepticons - they can be hiding anywhere!" I replied.
She started laughing, I started laughing, and then the toaster laughed so I shot it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Topical Jokes (5/21)

Here we are, once again. It's time for some laugh-words.

First up, we've got some big movie news. "Transformers 4" is now updating its cast. To appeal more to the US box office, the evil Decepticons will be played by menacing vending machines that won't let go of your Doritos.

More mov...

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