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Decaffeinated Jokes

What's black and never works?

Decaffeinated coffee, you racist.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having decaffeinated coffee..

Is like masturbating using a comdom

What do you call a cow that gets an abortion?

Decaffeinated

Why do socialists only drink decaffeinated tea?

Because proper tea is theft

How did the cow feel after giving birth?

Decaffeinated.

What do you call a cow with 3 Legs?

Lean Beef.



What do you call a cow with no legs?



Ground Beef.



What do you call a cow that just had an abortion?



Decaffeinated.

Signs you drink too much coffee

- You answer the door before people knock.

- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

- You ski uphill.

- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

- You lick your coffeepot clean.

- You're the employee of ...

How to get there faster

The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their pl...

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