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Deadbeat Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW]I Was Surprised When My deadbeat roommate actually had rent money on time

"Yeah, man, I got a job."

"Doing what?," I asked.

"I hang out in the alley and give blow jobs."

"Sounds like a hard way to make money."

"Nah, man, my very first night I made $300.05"

I scoffed, "Who paid you a nickel?"

He said, "They all did."

What does a toolbox and a deadbeat dad have in common?

Screws, nuts, and bolts.

A married couple had a deadbeat son.

An married couple had a son in his late 20s still living at home. The parents were concerned that they're son showed a disinterest with pursuing settling down getting on with his life.

The son was working at his part-time job at a pizza place. The dad, at home, said, "I have an idea." He laid...

Communism is like a deadbeat dad.

No matter how much it could potentially do, it never works.

The White House has become low income housing and it’s main tenant is a broke, deadbeat

There goes the neighborhood!

Spring is like a deadbeat dad

It keeps promising it'll be there, but never shows up.

Jesus is a deadbeat dad

Said he'd be coming back soon 2000 years ago and we're still waiting.

I finally asked my Deadbeat, Deserting Dad what makes him happy. His Answer?

He hasn’t gotten back to me.

Why do so many deadbeat dads love to play poker?

It’s the only time they can call or raise anyone without feeling obligated to follow through.

A circle trying to convince a deadbeat dad to attend his son’s game:

“Sir, come for Ence.”

Do you know what is actually NSFW?

My deadbeat unemployed dad.

Not suitable for work? Yeah, all the companies he got fired from think so.

What Not to Say to a Policeman:

-I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.

-Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize I was driving.

-Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

-I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

-You're not gonna check the trunk...

What do you call headphones that walk out on their children?

Deadbeats

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a masterbating zombie?

A Deadbeat.

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