Deadbeat Jokes - 14 Hilarious Deadbeat Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW]I Was Surprised When My deadbeat roommate actually had rent money on time

"Yeah, man, I got a job."

"Doing what?," I asked.

"I hang out in the alley and give blow jobs."

"Sounds like a hard way to make money."

"Nah, man, my very first night I made $300.05"

I scoffed, "Who paid you a nickel?"

He said, "They all did."

What does a toolbox and a deadbeat dad have in common?

Screws, nuts, and bolts.

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A married couple had a deadbeat son.

An married couple had a son in his late 20s still living at home. The parents were concerned that they're son showed a disinterest with pursuing settling down getting on with his life.

The son was working at his part-time job at a pizza place. The dad, at home, said, "I have an idea." He laid...

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Communism is like a deadbeat dad.

No matter how much it could potentially do, it never works.

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The White House has become low income housing and it’s main tenant is a broke, deadbeat

There goes the neighborhood!

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Spring is like a deadbeat dad

It keeps promising it'll be there, but never shows up.

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Jesus is a deadbeat dad

Said he'd be coming back soon 2000 years ago and we're still waiting.

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I finally asked my Deadbeat, Deserting Dad what makes him happy. His Answer?

He hasn’t gotten back to me.

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Why do so many deadbeat dads love to play poker?

It’s the only time they can call or raise anyone without feeling obligated to follow through.

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A circle trying to convince a deadbeat dad to attend his son’s game:

“Sir, come for Ence.”

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Do you know what is actually NSFW?

My deadbeat unemployed dad.

Not suitable for work? Yeah, all the companies he got fired from think so.

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What Not to Say to a Policeman:

-I cant reach my license unless you hold my beer.

-Sorry, Officer, I didnt realize I was driving.

-Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me!

-I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

-You're not gonna check the trunk...

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What do you call headphones that walk out on their children?

Deadbeats

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a masterbating zombie?

A Deadbeat.

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