Stalin was addressing an assembly of peasants in Russia...

And a man in the crowd sneezed. Stalin asked: who sneezed?

No one responded. Stalin says to one of his KGB cronies 'walk up to the crowd, and shoot everyone in the front row.' So the guy shoots everyone in the front row.

'Now', Stalin says, 'who sneezed?' Again, no one responded. 'Sh...

Kid goes to the old folks home to visit grandpa,

finds him on the veranda with his cronies. A few minutes go by, when one of the old codgers says “thirty-two.” Everyone erupts into laughter.

Few seconds later, a different geezer says “seventy-seven.” Same thing, uproarious laughter.

The kid finally asks gramps, “what gives with th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar. Donald leans over, and With A smile on his face, says, "The media are really tearing you apart for That Scandal."

Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"

Trump: "No, the other one."


Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"

Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"

Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Usin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Catfood

So this woman has her bridge club every Thursday night, and after a peaceful game or three with the ladies she goes home to fix her husband dinner when he gets home from work. Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game, she has an incredible hand, when she notices the time.

"Oh, no! I ...

Fresh Foot Prints!

A Californian went out to follow up a grizzly bear and was gone three days. Then he turned up without his game.

“Lost the trail, Bill, I suppose”, said one of his cronies.

“Naw, I kept on the trail alright “

“Then ,what is the matter?”

“Wall, the footprints was getting to...

Appropriate for Election Season

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates and asks his profession. The man says he was a politician. "Ah," says St. Peter, "then you may choose whether you would like to go to heaven or hell. You may spend one week in heaven, then one week in hell. At the end of the...

A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart. The girl replies, "If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?" ...

"Yes, I will," came the reply.
"And drinking?"
"I will give up drinking as well."
"And going to the club with your cronies?"
"Yes, I will."
"And what else will you give up for my sake?" she asked finally.
"I have already given up the idea of marrying you."

Indian bar game

A Norwegian took a trip to Fargo, North Dakota. While in a bar, an Indian on the next stool spoke to the Norwegian in a friendly manner.
"Look," he said, "let's have a little game. I'll ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll buy you a drink. If you can't then you buy me one. OK?"
"Ja, da...

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