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Crackhead Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a crackhead and a tweaker?

A crackhead will steal your shit. A tweaker will steal your shit and help you look for it.

What’s a crackhead’s favorite song?

I Wanna Rock!

How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4. 1 to hold the lightbulb and 3 to smoke until the room starts spinning.

what's the difference between a crack head and a pot head?

If a crackhead overdoses you find them dead in the gutter, if pothead overdoses you find them asleep in the fridge.

What is the difference between a crackhead and a walrus?

One tooth

A Crackhead an Alchoholic and a chain smoker all die in a car accident.

When they reach the pearly gate St. Peter just looks at them and says "not good gentlemen not good. I cant just let a Crackhead, Alchoholic and chain smoker into heaven." The three men start to complain and demand to be let in. So St Peter decides to test them. He give the crackhead some crack, he g...

The best part of being a crackhead....

Only two more sleeps until Christmas.

What time do Crackheads wake up?

Crack of Dawn!

Where do crackheads get their vocabulary?

In addictionary

What do you call a dead crackhead?

A methylated spirit.

Happy NY!

Bad Dog

One winter day, a guy was walking down the street when he saw a mangy old dog lying in the middle of the sidewalk. It was covered in flies and seemed to be barely alive. Rather than try to help it, the guy gave it a sharp kick and laughed as it limped away.

Without warning, the guy became a s...

Wanna know what you call a smart crackhead?

A geologist.

A crackhead and a masochist are in a prison cell...

They both have life sentences for one reason or another and are pretty hopeless overall. One day the masochist chops his finger off and throws it out of the cell just because he is bored. Then a few minutes later he chops his arm up to the elbow and throws it out of the cell. He repeats this action ...

In light of today's events in Toronto

A lady gets on a plane and realizes that she's been seated next to an Arab man in traditional attire. She watches him cautiously during the entire flight.

When the plane lands, he gets out before her, but leaves his briefcase under the seat in front of him. Noticing this, she grabs it and fol...

Winter is officially over!

Just saw 2 crackheads carry a space heater into a pawn shop.

Man, it's so hot outside...

I saw a crackhead putting copper wires back in his AC

How many crackheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one more.

What do you call an alligator addicted to drugs?

A crackhead-ile

What do you call a person who just fell head first off of a 10 story building?

A crackhead







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