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Christening Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist man married a devout Catholic woman.

The woman insisted they have a full catholic wedding, led by a priest and including the sacrament. The man loved her, so he capitulated.
Every Sunday the woman insisted they attend mass. The man loved her, so he capitulated.
When their children were born, the woman insisted on a Catholic c...

I really didn't want to go to a fancy dress christening

but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

I was chatting to a graphic designer about invitations for the baby’s christening.

“How about comic sans?” I said “Oh no” she scoffed, “for this occasion we’re gonna need a baptismal font”.

So, I hear Batman didn't turn up to the Christening ..

Christian Bale.

A baby was born...

A baby was born and during its christening, mutters “God bless Mummy, god bless Daddy, god bless Grandma, goodbye Grandpa” and the next day the Grandpa suddenly dies.

A few weeks pass and the baby speaks up again, babbling “God bless Mummy, god bless Daddy, goodbye Grandma” and sure enough th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Job interview

At a recent job interview:

"What's your name?"

"Dave Fucking Cunting Smith"

"Do you suffer from Tourette's Dave"

"No. But the Vicar at the Christening did."

Old Custom In Ireland

There is an old custom in Ireland, to bow the head briefly in prayer when saying “Jesus” - particularly when saying the line from the Ave Maria, or Hail Mary, that ends with “... the fruit of thy womb, Jesus”

In christening services, where babies are dedicated to the Church, parents and godpa...

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