"Herr General, the Italians have entered the war"

said the Wehrmacht commander's subordinate.

"Really?" his boss sighed. "Send half a division to stop them."

"Nein, herr General." replied his subordinate; "they are entering on our side."

Upon hearing it, the General collapses onto the table, crying; "Send two armies to help th...

What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz

(This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)

What did the Allied forces call the German army as it retreated at the end of WWII?

A receding herr line

What do German girls call getting divorced and remarried?

A Herr transplant.

A man in East Germany buys a car

The car dealer says; "Okay, mein herr; your car will be delivered today in a year's time!"

The man replies, "Okay, but could you arrange for it to come in the afternoon? The plumber's coming in the morning."

Full size map

"And then came the grandest idea of all! We actually made a map of the country, on the scale of a mile to the mile!"

"Have you used it much?" I enquired.

"It has never been spread out, yet," said Mein Herr: "the farmers objected: they said it would cover the whole country, and shut out...

What do Germans call Micheal Jordans sneakers?

Herr Jordan's AirJordans

Hitler asks a jewish kid...

Hitler wants to hear the dreams of jewish kids. So, he visits Auschwitz and finds one kid sitting in a corner, freezing to death.

"Hallo kinder, what is your dream?"

"Herr Hitler, when I grow-"

"IF..IF you grow up."

German Mining Company

German miner, "herr supervisor, we're working so many hours and we're so efficient that within a year we will run out of ore to mine."

Mine Supervisor, "this is a problem. A very bad problem."

Miner, "what do you suggest we do?"

Supervisor, "Mein Fuhrer."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An old Jewish joke.

Rabbi Altmann and his secretary were sitting in a coffeehouse in Berlin in 1935. "Herr Altmann," said his secretary, "I notice you're reading Der Stürmer! I can't understand why. A Nazi libel sheet! Are you some kind of masochist, or, God forbid, a self-hating Jew?"

"On the contrary, Frau Eps...

Michael Jordan tried escaping his nickname in Germany...

but they still called him Herr Jordan.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward? [OC]

A receeding Herr line.

An American, a Frenchman and an East German (this joke takes place in 1982)

are having a few drinks and discussing what true happiness is.

The American says "For me, true happiness is to work hard all day at a job I love, and then to come home and share dinner with my family."

The Frenchman says "Oh, you Americans, you're obsessed with work. To me true happine...