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Chip Shop Jokes

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I walked into a fish & chip shop

And ordered fish and chips. The guy served me and I said "that fish isn't cooked properly"!

He said "what makes you say that'?

I said" well..... It looks like its eaten half of my fucking chips"

Chip shop fight

I got into a fight with a chip shop owner, we were wrestling on the floor and one of his assistents chucked yellow gunk over us, as I got up the owner pushed me and I fell into the fryer and in that moment I knew i'd been battered.

Scottish chip shop joke

scotsman: Chips and a steak and kidley pie please

Server: you said kidley

scotsman: no I didley

Have you heard about the fight in the fish and chip shop?

2 fish got battered.

Two priests decided to open a Fish and Chip shop...

... One was a Fish Friar, the other was a Chip Monk.

The fish and chip shop near me has gone into liquidation

Now the owner is stuck between a rock and a hard plaice

A rich Arabian business man brought all the chip shops in the UK

He was Sultan vinegar

A man walks into a fish and chip shop...

A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a live trout under his arm.

"Excuse me, do you sell fish cakes?" he asks.

Looking a little confused, the owner replies, "Yes, of course we do"

"Great" the man responds, smiling at his trout, "It's his birthday."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just got fired from my job at the chip shop for sticking my dick in the potato peeler

And she got fired too!

A guy walks up to the shopkeeper and asks for a Fender Strat, an Orange Amp and a Mooger Fooger pedal...

...the shop keeper says: "Are you a drummer?" and the guy responds: "Yeah how can you tell?"

The shop keeper responds: "This is a fish and chip shop mate."

Doctor, Doctor! I think I need glasses!

You certainly do, sir. This is a fish and chip shop.

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Two men are sitting in the pub discussing who has the laziest son...

"My son...", says the first "... is so lazy, that when I sent him three minutes down road to the chip shop to get a couple bags of fish and chips with a twenty pound note and told him he could keep the change- the lazy bugger still wouldn't go."
"That's nothing..." says the second, "...I got in l...

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John Cooper Clarke's hairdresser joke, slightly paraphrased.

A man is at the hairdresser and makes conversation.

The hairdresser asks him "You going anywhere for your holidays?"

The man says, "Me and my wife are going to Rome".

"Why do you want to go to Rome?"

"I love Italian food".

"Well, it's all fish and chip shops in Rom...

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